The Cedarville Herald, Volume 12, Numbers 1-26

<!' MPgR80N4fc, polw be*. pink U0j * i>i’tiera Siberia hs a present to baa almost „ a German Q m«H.t highly " Germany, i 'tal being com* amethyst, with tbe gift Qf tj,, is one of isii« enirs. paniol Webster in Washington. «n usedfor la« qr sale, Ht auc- of « » * * small vere olScked (» ydrd of thit 4 ■ .Wwfef Hn<2eu- ! oi -Manshijej^ >ncan be roeoi** clothes. ; They pattern—very trousers, very it- He usually » on the same a. at tjie sam« ', whenever it ij irments in th* ■tiesas her hus. which include randrad invita- rcey M. Depew tbe, education, of her son and i nieces; is her at finds oppor- studies in Ger- praetice daily, le of the most "swing around isionof flowers ry turn in Cali, ini’s reception l Gold-of-Ophir •nopy over her ption the ladies aone thousand 1around them, often deceived by the bargain tells of having . ece of sealskin promptly cut it irked them re- h The highest the retailer at whole piece, out before the Sun. idvice floating v-ine world isf sable in society . >etaught many v already.” it at yon must be ' people’s good . in their atllic- scareful not to i or entertain- romaa don’t be ISEN&E." ■y give! a bank i DisptAh, lmnol shirt lit. • homo, alnsf it slulit " id Furnisher, thel such hand- ind flowers arc ight. She cats .•s fade. When the diamonds at tunc you’re ige, brutal man usic. "No, sir, )t exactly, but • suspicion that iarck”—Wasli- ses.— “Jimpson issingCora, al- * "IIow can he was after dark Simpson. The ds under false ulor of cooking * ly to theyoung w late it was. t particularly. ‘We arc going •akfasfc, and l a have you an- JSt, 1Chappie No, 1 are too fasci* r years.” O. C. . I guess I waft you keep vour follow.” o. a . I gnens I must f."— Pittsburgh went with her mday, and af ter Idron was rest* to understand t aloud. When his text her at* iiemoment, and. Her by saying; new,, Preheard bune. Or '-tiQdjr (to •ccommend this Dealer—"Why, ».V wile had a in her garden! >r and in two bark cut, How wnd?” Lady— am sot f « -the imea. 18 oo««, ah* «rar Kioriou* r*»rtk Aod Ml tar l u l rsjotawt Frowwwitiwdwfit, :m m •ottth aad north W*e pat r i ot i c valce*. To-dayI amtbeSap- pleatone . . Jn all the happy Amid the f r o l i c •port and (no, My Fourth in .. noletpasaea F ir too -outvaliant '. fathtraatgned Their deathless > Declarntton; Forme they fought ’ andbled*h» fhtd - The freedom ol ournation. ’ Yet as the cannona _ thunder out, Nljarrlng aounclaannoyme• Andwlule the crowds applauding shout, - Tlielr tumult cannot oloy me; I set),-with tin approving.smile, The unties of the drummer Who pounds the drumin frantic style This,torrid day of summer, 7 watch,the speaker eloquent . YVlioleads the celebration; And wonder at the'atronuth that's spent In wild gesticulation. I smile to see the oraohers flare, While boys display their ardor; ' When two go oil beneath my ohnlr I only smile the harder. Perhaps you thinlcmy tastes must be ■ The strangest ever known, sirf But thou the reason Is, you see, I’mdeafer than, a stone, sir1. —R. fit. Titherington, in Light. THANKS, AWF’LY I great declaration, I am glad Our fathers kept you in their trunk Until July. 'Twould have been sad Had April showers wet our punk; Had May-time blossoms on the trees, . Or roses sweet that June reveals,; Peon burned by matches and fusees, Or scorchedby flery. spinning wheels; HudAugust's beat,'September’s oool, October’s crisp, November’s joys, Or dear December's time of yule Moonruined or enhanced by noise; Hud January's blizzard blast Or February’s slush and thaw A gloomonindependence cast; ' Had winds in Munch, so piercing raw. E’er had the obancoto wreak their woe, And eggs of discontent thus hatch, By bringing up their fearsome blow, Extinguishingboth torch and match. Right well ye cUose, ye signers great,- From oast and west, from south and north. ' Had ye preferred some other date, Wo’d no’or have had our July Fourth. --Harper's Bazar. HOW THEY CELEBRATED. The Smith Family’s Jolly Fourth of iJuly. I ’reparHttans .« Fitten to the Day ”—The . Patriotic Procession — Wonderful Bights and ••Doin'*"—Pre­ mature Pyrotechnics. ^Written for This Paper.] lH E Y g o t u p early. Directly alter breakfast ‘‘Pa’/and “Ma” Smith and the eight small but, l i v e l y Smiths were to be ar­ rayed, as "ma” said, “fitten to the day.” Ma b u s t l e d hither and yon in much excite- me a t , getting her brood ready for an early start to the main street of Libertyville to see the "wonderful doin’s.” As soon as she got one little Smith polished and done she sat the clean one -down bard in a chair to emphasize her instructions. Ma soon had her four girls dressed in their best lawn “frocks,” a wealth of long-drawn-out. •stiffly-starched "panties” rustling around their ankles,, red, whitp and blue sashes and their “ Sunday ha ts” There they sat, each holding a penny flag stiffly inher hand, and four pain of pantalelted lego stretched out'rigidly in front of them. They looked stiff and shining proofs of the efficacy of mingled soap, starch and patriotism. Next ma tackled her four boys, Thomas Jefferson Smith, the oldest boy. seemed to have been made es­ pecially to satisfy the longings of his mother s. patriotic soul. Mis hair waft fiercely red. When he was done up in a white “spencer” and. b 1u e breeches Thomas.T was a patriot.,; tiutly. Sever, of the Smith s w e r e done ready for ‘‘celebratin’.” T b e n t h e e i g h t h small btnith. fat dro­ ve r Cleveland, was j u m p e d , c o a x e d a n d squeezed i n t o some long, white l i nen breeches and a beruffied waist that he filled well nigh fo bursting, * Much curled aa to his hair and vio­ lently ted * * tohia face ha was prompt* «tv sj»* no a chain FA, Then ma surveyed with a satisfied air h*r long, patriotic sentence of Smiths; from her oldest "Marthy” Washington, who began the eentanoe, to Grover Cleveland for a round, fat period at the end. She told the girls they might wave their flags if they would "set still a spell longer an' keep clean.” Ma then decorated the spencer waists of her sons with small samples of the stars and stripes. Next she moved briskly along the line, dexterously using the family pockethandlcerchief on each small Smith In turn, whether there seemed to ha a pressing need for it qr not. They were now pronounced ready. Stepping to the front porch ma called pu, to “come in and keep an eye op ’em,” Then she hurried away to don her best "sprigged muslin," her black silk niantilly” and. her "NecpolltoWn straw bunnit” that had been fearfully and wonderfully adorned for the occa­ sion with red -and white roses, and, as ma said, a few “choice sprigs of blue forgit-me*nots.” Ma had. insisted on the three colors in spite of the village milliner’s protes­ tations, as they seemed "so fittin’-to herfeelins* and the day.” Soon after ma’s exit the* doorway was brightened tty the resplendent fig­ ure of the small Smiths’ sire. He wore plaid breeches and white vest and long jailed linen coat, from the l a p e l of w h i c h floated g a y l y a red, white and .blue ribbon, tied by his own Celin- dy’s p a t r i o t i c hands.' On his h e a d was .an a n c i e n t bell c r o w n e d silk hat. . T h e e i g h t _ s m a l l Smiths gazed up at tlieir sire with admir­ ing awe.. MA, That hat was only brought out on Fourth of July or’ circus day. Marthy W. waved her flag more slowly and fixed.her eyes on the hat with a thoughtful air, Finally she pointed her United States flag hand straight at it and asked: “Pa. is that there the old liberty bell' ma’s alius tellin’ us about?” Pa carefully lifted off what seemed to small JMarthy’s excited, Fourth .of July brain the veritable, patriotic relic itself. Thomas Jefferson snickered und called Marthy Washington a goosey. Pa smoothed his hat with his sleeve and then said, simply: “No, tain’t, Marthy, but. mebbe it iiooz look a lcetlc the shape, jest a lefetle,” .; Marthy Washington just had time to run out her tongue -triuinpantly at Thomas Jefferson when ma bustled in. The . procession now started, with pound ma arm inarm bringing up the rear. . The first of the wonderful “doins” this family spied was the “Flying Dutchman” proprietor. . They all stopped on the edge of the sidewalk in a sloping line, and with opened- mouthed wonder listened to his: ■ "Forty times around the California world for only a nickel, a nickel, a half a dime. Secure yer tickets for the next wings.” Of course they all tried it. Before they revolved forty times several of the small Smiths showed signs of nausea.. They gagged. . They leaned their heads over the edges of the seats at varions angles. Pa stood up and frantically motioned to the man to stop the “durned thing;” but the propri­ etor only chant- ed , exasperat- ingly: " F o r t y times around the Cali­ fornia world for a nickel, a nick- e 1, a h a l f a dime.” Finally their swing and nau­ sea came to an end. They scram* ’■*•* bled out, and o xe of t h e misses . strayed on to halt again before the Hag Doll targets. Here they listened with the same wonder and delight to the man’s persuasive: "Come, try your luck at knockin’ down the babies. Every time yer knock down a baby yer get a sesgar, two ba­ bies two soegdrs, an’ three babies ftte aeegars.” Pa’s face soon wears a broad grin. Ho settles his "UbeTty hell” hat more firmly, pushes back his sleeves and takes a shy at the babies. “Down goes Salt” said the man. “Ahl very near, very near; try it again, try it again.” Pa tries. "That’s the time yer done it! Down goes Betsy1 T ry it again?” But pa pocketed the "seegars,” and strayed on after his family, who had tarried before a stand to fill up the eight small Smiths with pink lemonade and buy popoora balls, peanuts and can4y* , , They saw everything to be Been. They stood !a the scorching sun with upturned perspiring faces, and gazed at the man who was trying to climb the greased pole. They looked with ad­ miration at the marshals o f the dav. with their red silk asahes, aa they pranced on their warlike chargers up and down the -village street They even heard pne or two words of the declaration of independence as it was read in the courthouse "square,” They listened with open mouths and ears to the braying of the Idberty ville brass band, and they screamed, and pa haw-hawed with delight at the pro­ cession of "out and outers.” Finally, the "doin’s” came to an end, Ma now found some difficulty in per­ suading her brood to go home. At last she remembered her bait and said: “ yebbe yer Uncle,Tom sent that A PATRIOTIC STUDY. f i ' M l / J L a / them he’d, “show cm how slick a pin- wheel went.” lie fastened one to a pout of the porch, and lit it. It began to whirl and slzz. The children capered. Just then some sparks floated down among the patriotic bundles on the porch floor, "Whiz! Crash! bang!” The Homan candles and the small Smiths shot in every direction. The rockets whizzed through tlia air, or plowed the distant end of the vegetable garden, The,pin- wlieels whirled, the "nigger chasers” chased, and the big crackers banged. The children screamed. Towserhowled and fled. Pa fell down the woodshed steps in his haste to sec "what ailed the durned things,” Ma rushed to the pump for water. No pail .She tore into the house. In her blind haste and fright she grabbed up pa’s "liberty bell” hat, tilled it with water and dashed the ’ . v-' v» >• V C vn ’ I PA TAKES A SHY AT THE HAWES. there box o’ rockets an' crackers he promised last Independence day.” These words acted like magic. Think of it! There were to be more "doin’s.” The procession started for home. All the small Smiths bad sunburned cheeks and noses.* The girls ‘'frocks'’ were streaked with dust and sticky with candy, their "panties” liuug down, limply, and tlieir hats Were bent out of shape by the crowd. ' Thomas Jefferson, their "inter-every- thing” son, had spilled pink lemonade outside as well as inside of his once white spencer. His pockets bulged with peanuts and candy. Grover Cleve­ lands' fat body seemed fatter than ever with its load of popcorn balls, etc. - But they had all s e e n the “doin’s,” a n d were h ' a p p y and ready for U n c l e Tom’s b o x o f fire­ works, or any­ thing else that turned u p to complete t h i s w o n d e r f u l d a y ’ s “cele­ bratin’." They reached home. Ma liud just laid aside her “flttin-to-the-day bunnit,” and pa had deposited his “llburty bell” hat in a safe place,'when Thomas J. rushed in from the hack porch, and shouted: “Ma and pa, come ’ere quick. The box lms come.” Ma remarked to pa that: “It was jest like Thomas. He alius wuz pow­ erful fond of doin’ things fittiu* to the, day.” Now, by Thomas, ma meant her rich brother and “fuvoright retushin," Thomas Jefferson Simpkins, who lived in Chicago, and for whom their son T ,' J. was named. The whole family gathered curiously around the box on the buck porch. Towser, the dog, sniffed at it question- ingly. Thomas Jefferson ran to get the hatchet.’ Finally, pa, with a final wrench, and 'oomc off, dura ye,” removed the cover. Great bundles of Homan candles,- rockets, pinwheels, “nigger chasers,” and big crackers were laid contents on the last of the shoot­ ing candle i. Soon it was ended. They all huddled around the ruins. ' Pa looked at his bent' a n d dampened It a t a n d said re­ proachfully: "Celindy, ’pears like ye wuz aleetle hasty in using my hat,” “ Lord, pa," retorted Celindy, "who keers fer yer old hat when a rocket has went clean through Towser, an’ the best chance we ever will have to show Libertyville a celebrashin fittin* to the day is burnt up. It’s jest that inter-everything son o’ youra done i t " With a wrathful glance at guilty Thomas J., ma stalked into the house. The eight small Smiths, *pa and the "liberty belL” hat Straggled after her. ■ Then the door shut. Outside, the man in the moon smiled to himself as he beamed down on the home of the tired, sleeping Smiths, and thought of how they celebrated. J enny F airm an S mitil WASHINGTON WEDDINGS. X ’ "WHO KEERS FEB VftR OLD HAT?” out on the porch floor before the awe struck group, “Don't tech cui,” said pa and ma ns they started for the woodhonne to “rig up” something to “shoot cm off on.” No sooner were pa and ma out of sight, than Thomas Jefferson tried a “bigger chaser.” This made the group of small Smiths laugh and scatter, only to rally around Thomas J, with re­ newed interest With an Important swagger, lie told A Government Practice lCc«pon*lbte for Many Secret Marriages. Not infrequently a lead-pencil in­ scription across an entry in the mar­ riage license books in the office of the clerk of the district. court reads: ‘Please d o , not use this.”- At first squint sucli a request has about it an air of mystery which would naturally lead'the newsgutlicrer to investigate. But after- awhile he understands the whole thing at a glance. ’ Among the many thousand men and women employed in one capacity or' another by the many department's of the government are formed acquaint­ anceships which ultimately, find com­ plete satisfaction only at the altar. The government has a confidential agent who disregards all civil servico rules, ne.vcr asks for a salary and never expects a pension. He is better ac­ quainted with employes everywheie than any head of a department,, and he is responsible for much of the trouble wide' arises now and then, though lie docs everythingin good part. If it was not for this miserable little rascal slio might forover copy many miles of manifold, dnndlc the typewriter or manipulate the counting machine, and he might forever know nothing of the real joys of life beyond drawing his salary and drinking soft drinks at night in a drug store. But the confi­ dential agent, Cupid, intervenes, and the first thing he knows he is confront­ ing Clerk Meigs, who, as'he hands him the license, Says: “I congratulate you. I have been married myself.” Then eomes the rub. The large number of employes results in gov­ ernment being spelled with a large G in Washington. That government is supposed to be run on business princi­ ples, and as marriage, by long custom, which has no excuse in reason, fre­ quently incapacitates ono of the parties from serving the government longer, the couple., who are generally not well off in this world’s goods, prefer to keep their marriage a secret from the gov­ ernment. so , that their combined salaries may be used in giving them a comfortable home. Again, the groom seasons: "The chief will say: ‘Here is a young man who is well enough off to marry. 1reckon when the time comes to raise salaries we will have to odd to the salary of him who is not well enough off to marry.’ ” Hence the desire for secrecy. This is only one of the terrors which sur­ round the marriage of government employes, but it is a curious commen­ tary on the growth of officialism in this country.—Washington Post. T lie Engineer'* Horror. Ask any railroad engineer of what he stands the most in dread while his hands grasp the throttle and his engine skims over tiie rails through cities, tun­ nels and over bridges, and if you be of a sportive inclination it will be $afe for you to wager that his answer will not lie broken axles or rails, weak bridges or a defective roadbed, but children and a common cvery-day .drunken man. An engineer never thinks of death; it is being startled that he boost dreads. Children and drunken men turn up at the most in­ opportune and unexpected times, and It is the idea of killing a fellow being that Bends his heart upon an exploring expedition and Ida liair skyward.— Washington Star. OF GENERAL INTEREST. —“Jack the Chicken Ripper" Is the * latest of his class, and operates among the henneries of Montclair, N. J. The other morning more than 500 chickens were found on three streets of tbst town. The throat and breast of each - lied been ripped open. —A great unexplored cave was recent* ly found near Clarion, Pa., which emits a sort of blue fog chill as from a power­ ful refrigerator. A pail of water bus * pended a depth of ten feet was drawn • « up after four hours and found to be al- moBt a solid cake of ice. As far as known no living animal-could remain in the opening for more than twominutes —-The champion alliterator of this state undoubtedly holds forth in a Bound Brook newspaper office. In “heading up” an article, he says; “Base- hall, Beer, and Broken Bones In and - Upon the Boundaries of the Borough of BoundBrook Last Sunday.” ’ As a work of art this is superb. Could mere chance : have ever produced it?-rNewark Ad­ vertiser. —Dogs of the Seven Sleepers.—The seven noble youths who fell asleep for . SOSyears had a dog which accompanied them to the cavern in which they were walled up. It remained standing for thewhole time and neither moved from the spot, ate, drank nor slept. The dog named Katmir, has been admitted by Mahomet into Paradise. At least that is what the Horan says. — A man over in Australia had a new and- brilliant idea not long ago in re­ gard to the interpretation of the clause in liis marriage vows, “ till death us do part” His wife died, luckily for her, as the following facts demonstrate, and since he was bound only till death to his wife, the husband refused to pay her funeral expenses. The antipodean courts^ promptly decided that a hus­ band’s duties only cease when, the un­ dertaker’s bills are paid. —The Hebrew Journal publishes a long list of Jewish institutions in New York City. The list includes thirty places of worship, twenty charitable in­ stitutions, eight benefit societies and seven clubs and libraries. According ■ to the Hebrew Journal 158,000 Russian. Jews have come to New York City, a number which, it says, is equal to the rest of the Jewish population here. By these estimates, there must be about 300,000 Jews, in the city; but perhaps the estimates are too high. —-A novel lawsuit recently came be­ fore the court of Petersburg, Vo. A short statement of the facts is as fol- - lows: Davis,' a photographer, some time ago sold to a florist a lot of refuted negatives, which he wanted to use to cover his hothouse. Foster, a rival photographer,' bought some 400 of the negatives from the florist, and from ' ■ these printed photographs and exposed them as specimens in his gallery. Da­ vis obtained aq injunction to prevent Foster from so using the negatives, and the court perpetuated the injunction. —Gen. Osborhe, who lias just returned to the United States after living twenty years in the Argentine republic, says that in eight years it will be possible for any one to board a train in Chicago and ride through to Patagonia. Ac­ cording to Peck’s Sun, Patagonia is the tail end of South America, and the rail­ way will be along the backbone of the two continents, beginning about the liver region or year the City of Mexico. The general has not estimated the time which will be consumed in going by rail from the diaphragm to the tail. —A polyglot barber is a curiosity in Atchison, Kan. He can talk fluently In four languages. Lost Wednesday ho- tried to open a conversation with a si­ lent gentleman whom he was shaving, lie addressed him successively In En­ glish, German and French, with a two- mlnuto pause after each trial, pleasant­ ly remarking that “It is a fine day,” There was no answer ttora the victim until the same phrase was fired at him in Italian. Then the customer cnrtly said in English: “Go on with your work, and slint up. Can’t you see that I’m dcBf and dumb?” .—The inventor of the game of chess, on being promised by the king, whom he first taught the game, that he should have any reward he might ask for, meekly replied that he would bo con­ tent if tbe king would give him one kernel of wheat on the first square, two on the second, four on the third, eight on the fourth, and so on, doubling up to tbe sixty-fourth square. The king gladly acceded to thisscominglymodest request, and ordered his attendants to bring In the wheat, which they began to do; but, to astonishment of the mo­ narch, it was found that there was not wheat enough in the whole dominion to pay off the crafty inventor. It would ■ require b,CSV,208,7815,934*775,1(58 kernels, eqt (valent to 30,027,097,184,485 bushels. Honest Janitors, The general honesty of janitors In New York was talked about by a real estate agent, who said: “There are here in (his city several thousand jan­ itors who have charge of apartment houses up town and of business edifices down town. Yet yon hardly ever hear of any one of them being arrested for taking 1 advantage of the opportunities for dishonest conduct that are often presented to them. Many of them have easy access to residences and to offices when the tenants are absent, yet I do not personally know of any cases in the courts. In fact, nearly the whole "body of janitors in the apartment and bufci- w ness edifices of New York are mien of honesty, and a large proportion of them . are Englishmen and Gemona”—N. Y. Sun,