The Cedarville Herald, Volume 12, Numbers 27-52

The CedarriUeHerald. W. B. BLAW PuWJrtW. CEDAItVILLE, i : i OHIO. IN HARD LUCK. OM Mam FounU Thins* Changed Btik East. The othfcrday a tramp printer of the real old aor^—dead-broke, thirsty and ragged, but with cheek all right—', struck the information bureau of the Worldyrith; - . . . . . "Well* I ’ll bq hanged! What sort of n dodge do you.call this, anyhow? Met a comp in Buffalo who said that you fellers in Now York wore getting ex­ clusive, hut I thought ho had been drinking. I want to soothe old man.” “What old man?" “There isn’t but one old man around a print shop. I want the editor, of course, Just struck the town after working my way from Kansas City and 1 want a sit." "Wave to send your name up, sir.” "What! I’ve tramped this, garden- patch from Portland to Galveston and back, and I never had to swallow any red tape to see the editor! Getting mighty fine here, ain’t you!" "That’s the rule, sir,” "Rule be hanged! Just whistle up that tube and toll him that old Sam Anderson is hero and wants to sub fqr a week or two. Also a couple of dol­ lars in advance to straighten up op.” “You’ll have to send your name up, sir.” "Not by a stickful! You just whistlo np and say that old Sam is here, and if he doesn’t come rushing down to see me he’ll me up. Tknow him. He and 1 stock type together in Elmira thirty years ago, and I am the man who .learned him how to fly tho frisket on a hand-press. Ask him if he’s forgotten : how to cast a roller?’’ , . ' The young man in the bureau sent the name up, and old Sam went out for a nip. When lie returned it was to find a "not in" on Ills curd. . "Then I’ll try the city editor," he raid. "Used to know him in Syracuse; when he first began picking up items, and lie used to come to .mo to correct his grammar. HSfcoukl describe a dog fight, or a runaway equal to Dickons, and it always made hijn,proud when I praised him. Just whistle -up that straw-carrier that old Sam Anderson is . here and wants to ‘jcfF with him for the beer. He’ll catch on to that off­ hand," "The city editor isn’t in at this hour, • sir.’’ . ■ ’‘. "Oh! Heain’t! Taking things mighty easy, isn’t lie? Welt I remember now he, was always a little slack. The boys used to cull .him ’standing galley’ in those' old days because he moved so slow. Very bright in tho head but stow on fo.t, I guess I’ll see the fore­ man.” . * "Mend your name up, please."- "Not much! L’m no governor or big man that 1'vo got. to be announced in that fashion! I’m just plain old Sam Anderson, who can write a leader on the 1ari.IT, make up a form, set up. an auction bill or work six hundred im­ pressions per hour on a hand-press. I remember him well. Name's Tom. lie was rollor-bov for me way back twenty- live years ago in Oswego. I learned Tom the boxes of liis case when he .didn’t know the sheep’s foot from a side- stick.” ^ "Tiie foreman won’t bo in until this evening, sir ” "Whew! Things are changing! When I wns foreman of the Elmira Gazette, I’ortland Argus, Galveston News or San Francisco Call I had to be on deck from seven to six. Just got on your velvet­ een trousers here, haven’t you? Got too fine, perhaps, to want to shake hands with an old print! Well, I'll go <«pfi and look the comps over, and I'll find ten cr a dozen who’ll be glad *o see me. Just whistle up that old Sam is coming.” "Not allowed, sir.” "Not allowed! Do you mean to tell me that there is a composing-room in America which keeps tho door shut against an oUTftrint?” “That's the rttle. sir,” "Well, I’ll be banged! Things is in­ dued coming to a pretty passr The next calamity will be to refuso us circus tickets! Say, young man!” "Yes, air." "You are not exactly a printer?” "No, sir.” "But as an employe of a print shop you feel more or less of the fraternal spirit that* binds the craft together. Feeling thus, lend me a couple of para­ graphs till I get on my feet?” "Money?" "Yes-two do t” "Couldn’t possibly do it, sir.” "You refuse?” " Im u s t” "Editor out—city editor out—foreman out comps out, and tho ‘devil’ has no confidence Inmy integrity!” moaned the stranger as he struck a pose and looked up at the celling. "All right, boy-—all right! I'll just drop around to the base­ ment and see the pressman. Name is Jack—old friend—used to work In Cas­ tile together—no whistling to announce me—two dollars—good-by1"—M. Quad, in N. Y. World. —"You’re not going to many that old maid, Miss Lastchance! Why, her hair and teeth are both false.” "All Mis better. 1 won't have to be to the ■expense of buying her false hair and teeth after we’re married."—Buffalo Express. T H E B A T T L E F I E L D . WHISTLING NAILS. A Joke That Made * 0,000 tUn Think the Ym ikeo* W e r e I 'l l n g N nlaelM * 1 'o w tlo r. “I see,” said tho veteran, oa hq twist­ ed liis feet up on the verandah ratling and gazed lazily a t the sunset, "that they are making whole lots of talking in tho newspapers nowadays about smokeless and noiseless powder. Wby, we were talking about the same thing when I was in Price’s army. "You know we were' away down In the brush in southwest Missouri, where wo were all cut off from the world and couldn't get any news from tho outside, Well, the story got started somehow that the Yankees had invented a new powder—a kind that burned with no smoke, no flash, and no noise. Pretty soon they were talkingdboutit in every regiment,, worrying over the thing, and reviving the devilish ingenuity of the Yankee. There was nothing to talk about, and you know how it is in a big body of idle men. r "There was one fellow that took great stock in the noiseless powder story. It bothered him all the time., This was Bill Oliver of Col. Winston’s Second Missouri. Bill came from up here at Platte City. He was a black­ smith, a strapping great, big fellow, strong as a horse. .He weighed," I reckon, two hundred pounds. "One black night Bill was put out in the brush on picket duty. Now. he was just as gritty a fighter as you ever sow in line with a man on either side of him, but I tclljyou, my bpy, set a man out in a dark thicket all alone, and the enemy known to be near and supposed to be pverywhore. it takes all the starch out of the best of them. "So Hill was trembly and shaky, and saw • Yankee sharpshooters every­ where. "Now, in the same regiment they had a daredevil, harum-scarum fool lleub Hill ; This Reub Hill was the kind of a specimen every regiment has—a pestif­ erous practical joker, a nuisance th a t; everybody liked Here was a rich chance for one of Reuben's little jokes. Soon as Bill had got settled at his post Reuben loaded his pocket with a dozen or so big wrought-iron nails, and out through the dark he circled to. get hi front of the pickets, lie hid in a -sassa­ fras brush. about a hundred feet from the big blacksmith, and looked out. “There was Bill tiptoeing up and down his beat like an elephant ou a rickety bridge, dodging and whirling every time a grasshopper chirped or a horse back in the camp snorted. He was getting badly, scared. Reuben pick­ ed up a bright, ragged nail and flung it just as hurd as he could jerk. "You know what a vicious screech­ ing a nail mukes when you throw it that way? No minic bail ever sounded wickeder. It goes: "Whi-n-u-n-u!' "Poor Bill’s heart stopped with a big thump like a sledge hammer, and Rcu-, ben away off in the tliickot heard him catch his breath as if some, one had dropped a bucket of ice water on him. His big bulk dropped in the weeds like a stick of sand, and for about a. minute there was not the sound of a breath. Then the big picket muttered shakily; “Slio l'm 'gettin' skeery as a woman with thinkln’of them Yanks an’ their new-funglcd powder.' And Ini got up and b ignn wearily to walk his beat "It nben let go another of his nails, and a third just as (juiclc as ho could throw. They went whirring blood­ thirsty towurd William, and one of the n ripped through tho leaves over his head, spattering twigs and bits of leaf all about. "There wns no doubt about it this t>me, and big Bill, as ho let liis musket off wildly in the air, charged for camp, sputtering, puffing, yelling, tearing up weeds and sod and bolting into trees. His trail looked like the track of a young cyclone. Into tho' camp ho plunged, over men and tents, musket stacks and cook trenches It’s an act­ ual fact that he ran over a little forag­ ing pony that was tied to a tree and couldn't get out of the way, knocked the poor beast down and crippled it for a week. His headway was terrific. He finally brought up full tilt against a tongh little hickory sappling, which lie ran down like a moose, landing up in the leafy top with his hands clawing at the boughs, "He waked every man in the regi­ ment Down the line went shouts and bngle calls.' Within ten minutes every one of Price's forty thousand men was in line of battle, staring into the dark­ ness for the enemy’s advance guard, listening for the purr of their silently fired bullets, "Of course, the enemy did not come, but the men lay oh their arms all night "Reuben was foo tickled over the way Bill tore through tho brush. to keep quiet Next day every nian in the army had the story. But it did net take well with the officers. A corpo­ ral's guard came after Reuben and put irons on him, and his little joke was ponderously considered by a court mar­ tial. That afternoon came news of the enemy in deadly earnest and Price set out on one of his long, forced marches. Reuben went along. He took with him by especial request of the court martial a full-sized black oak fence rail, soggy with sap. He was charged carefully not to lose that rail for three days, " 'The first day,’ said the disconsolate joker after It was all done, ’that rail felt pretty heavy, Just like an ordinary rail, Next day it felt like a Whole tree, hat, inyI on the lastday I thought 1-was Carrying all the woods,’ " It is still an open qnestton among the boys of Winston’s regiment wheth­ er the joke was on Williamor Reuben." —Kansas'City Times- an odd I n c ident . A Federal Charge I.ed by a Confederate X o ltller. I think I am the only snrvivor of the confederacy who led a federal charge. This singular thing I did, and here’s bow it was: I t was at the battle of Selma. I was carrying orders and had to puss straight through the town. It was terribly hot and I had my coat off, We had captured a wagon train a few days before, and out of the spoils I had appropriated a brand-new federal cav­ alry hat, so I did not look unlike a Yankee’ officer. In the main street of Selma I met an aid named Brown—a gallant fellow. He shouted to me that our line had been broken and that Arm­ strong was falling back, and told’me to get out or I ’d be taken. Just then Armstrong and his staff galloped past, and the general recognized us, called, out: "You must hurry out of this, gentlemen. They are close on our heels." Brown had a dispatch for Col. Johnson, and he saidhe would wait and deliver i t .if he died for i t While wo were talking, pistols in hand(/a column of federal cavalry swung into the street where we stood, coming full ti lt We were so taken by surprise that we could not get away. Brown' had on a new uniform that had just run the blockade, and he was a good target Half a dozen troopers dashed out from the line to catch him. We were riding for our lives, Brown a little in the lead, so that it. looked as though 1 was chasing him. The pursuers passed me and overhauled Brown, and. Icaught a glimpse of him ns I passed, down on liis badic working liis revolver, with a group of the enemy about him, all shooting down a t him and cutting at him with their sabers. By this time I was at the head of the column, which had not slackened its mad pace. For at least a mile I rode a t tlieir head, exchanging remarks about the retreat of tho "robs” and joining the cries of "Hurry; let’s «atcli Armstrong.” As we came to a side street that ran right down to the river I dashed out and swerved sharply, and then I rode for dear life. In a second they were after me and the bullets snug all round me. I never halted, but plunged off a low pier into the water and swain straight across to where our people were trying to form a new front The wiiter was tom by a per­ fect rain of bullets, but I was not scratched, ’ and my horse was only slightly wounded. I would like much to know the name of my federal com­ mander.—Maj. McClurug, in S t Louis (1lobe-Democrat. SHERIDAN IN "HIS*SUPPERS. A I’a lit* M f ilr u n Ite> |in ii< ilite f a r » F u n n y I'e rfo rm a iic e l>y th o (le n e ra l. A gorid story of Gen. Sheridan Was told the other day by a Mexican gentle­ man', an intimate friend, of the great northern soldier in his lifetime. One day,' culling on the commander of the army of the union at his office in Wash­ ington, he found tho hero of Winches­ ter at his desk- liis feet incased in slip­ pers and his shoos democratically plac­ ed on top of his desk. While the gener­ al was apparently absorbed in some writing the Mexican gentleman who thought some servant had left the war­ riors shoes in the wrong place, took liis- cane and gently deposited tho shoes on the floor. The next day tho Mexican gcntlc- man called again on Sheridan and found him at his desk, b I ioos on top ns before. The polite resident of tho tropics began once more removing the shcos to the floor, when nil at once Sheridan roared out: "Don't you do that again, sir! You make me ridiculous, sir!" "I beg your pardon, general, butbiow have I made you ridiculous?” "Why, sir," Baid Sheridan, still an­ noyed. "yesterday, sir, I. went out to walk after you had called on me. I was nearing the White house, when I noticed a gentleman looking at me in­ tently- Soon he addressed me saying: ‘Excuse me, general, but aren’t you afraid of catching cold?’ ‘Why, sir, no, not that 1 know of; what's the mat­ ter, sir?' 'Well,' said the gentleman, 'it is very damp and you are going about in your slippers.’ 'I tell you, sir,’ said Sheridan, addressing his Mexi­ can friend, "you made mo ridiculous It is my habit, sir, to put my shoes on my desk where I can not fail to sec them, so I may not forget to put them on, and, confound it, sir, you come round here with your notions of pro­ priety and send me around town in my slippers, sir.’’—Boston Herald, SCRAP 5 FOR SOLDIERS. Ltvixo in Iowa is as proud a mother as the stars and stripes ever floated over. Prior to the late war, Mrs. II, B. Merchant, then a widow, resided Rockford, 111,, and from here sent eleven sonsout to fight for her country and theirs. G en . L eox H ia SL. P oi . k , of the con­ federate service, was the famous Bishop Polk, of ante-war times, and was a captain in the American army in the Mexican war. He was killed a t the battle of Ressca. The L. L. Pollc, brigadier-general commanding the post a t Salisbury, is a different man. Gfttr. G haxt died July 98,1885, Gen. McClellan died October SO, 1885. Gen. Halleck died January 0, 1879. Gen. Sherman died, February 14,1801, Gen, Sheridan died August 5, 1888- Gen. Hancock died February 9, 1888. Gen, Mead died November 8, 1879. Uoh. Thomas died March 98. 1870. IN WOMAN’S BEHALF. A NOTABLE WOMAN’S CLUB. Description At one.til Brooklyn That I* Do- Infr Miioli Good. On every alternate Monday afternoon from October to June anomie army of women take possession of the parlors of No- 80 Willoughby street- .Brooklyn. The old-fashioned building toward which they flock has mounted guard for many years on the corner of Bridge street, and is one of the land-marks of the vicinity. Long ago, when college education for women was a myth, and clubs were legends of the days of Eliz­ abeth Montague and her famous "Blue Stockings,” this pile- .of bricks was the home of the Laurence family. If we may believe what Hawthorne says, that old houses become so impregnated with the thoughts of those who have lived in them that they influence any .who come within their walls, then tho Brooklyn Woman's club has in some respects a fitting habitation. , Envi­ roned by the conservative spirit of the past, it is at once rooted in the hearth­ stone. and at the same time sends out branches into all the earth, Birds of every plumage sing their songs, and drop the seeds of every clime into the greedy brains’ below, for it is an open secret that the members of this associa­ tion have omniverous appetites for in­ formation. Like the white queen in Wonderland, "they consider who they are and where they came from; -they consider how far they have come; they consider everything." "The object of this association", is de­ clared to be "the improvement of its members, and the practical considera­ tion of the important questions that grow out of the relations of Ahe indi­ vidual to society, and tho effect of ex­ isting institutions upon, individual do-' velopment." This twofold object is being attained. Some enthusiasts go' so far as to say that the club is a beau- tilier, and that women who.arc on the waiting, list wtere positively plain, have in the full exercise of membership blos­ somed into absolute loveliness. How­ ever that may bo, it is quite true that it simplifies life by object-lessons in in­ trinsic value. All phases of as many problems aro presented, excessive phil­ anthropic- dissipation as well as the atrophy of selfishness, and .that' happy medium where truth is found. Tiie charm of tho club consists large­ ly in its agreement to differ. Very much such an arrangement exists as wc see in the home of "our mutual friend.” The velvet hut and feathers of Mrs; Boffin never interfere with the democ­ racy of Mr. Boffin, and from their dif­ ferent stand-points they listen with the ' same delight to "the literary guest,” One of the questions of this interrog­ ative ago is; what have you done? in answer the club points to two import­ ant factors in the. philanthropic work of Brooklyn—the Business Woman’s Union and tiie Free.. Kindergarten. Both of these institutions arc her chil­ dren. The former long ngo' received her dower and began life on her own nccouiit. Tho younger' sister, now in', its fourth year, is established at the Willow Place Chapel, and cared for by a committee of club members. Although so connected witli philan­ thropy, hero is one American institution tiiat ignores money-getting. The thrifty Yankee anthem of "Sing a Song of Sixpence" is-not on every tongiie. The initiation feo and the annual dues ard the only financial obligations mention­ ed. It is testful if not educating to coino aside into this quiet place, and, undisturbed by "the jingling of the guinea,” learn what can bo accomplish­ ed without tho sale of tickets. Moral support is given to every worthy cause, but the club is kept from becoming a chariiablo association. Tho literary tendency too is controlled, .while the enthusiastic musicians find freer ex­ pression in tho Seidel Society without losing interest in tho old hpme. It is the aim of those in authority to pre­ serve a dignified many-sided organiza­ tion, with no biassing growth in any one direction. In its present form the club is a composite photograph blend- Ihg.the characteristics of many into a harmonious expression of womanhood. Alternating with tho regular meet­ ings are the informal Monday after­ noons, when the members are welcomed by the mother of them all, Mrs. llrrrict P. Smith. Formally the president of the board of directors, she has always, been a gracious influence in the elub. Believing that no association should fall into the hands of the fearless few, she encourages the faint-hearted, wel­ comes the stranger and with cheery words gives grace to the timid. Few organizations possess in such a degree the homelike clement. Miss Beecher, superintendent of the Busi­ ness Woman’s Union, which owns and occupies the house whose parlors are rented by the club, Is more than a di­ rector. in numberless ways she looks after the comfort and interests of her associates. Under her housewifely care is stored the china which sees the light a t the luncheon given every alternate month. A harlequin set, it has been presented piece by piece to the club by the members, and is ah interesting revelation of the characters of its sev­ eral doners. Some plates are so sensi­ bly solid, you know they will never break. Some are pretty but fragile, While' others combine strength and beauty in hopelessly unattainable fash­ ion. As soon as a woman has secured her two vouchers and passed the faithful ordeal of an election by ballet, she states her preference for baa of these nine subjects; she may study fora* coming year literature, music, curmat topics, art, science, philanthropy, fit* borne, or education; only she must, at least in -name, belong somewhere. Every committee has charge of two af­ ternoons on the calendar, and often re­ solves itself into a smaller club, where, a t semi-monthly meetings, the mater- ials for thfe public programmes are ma­ terialized. A spirit of mutual helplessness per­ vades everything. A literary woman, Mrs. Alice Witherbee, is chairman,of the committee on education. Amem­ ber enrolled among the philanthropists aids the musicians in their work, while from the ranks of the musicians come brilliant essays on Russian novelists ' and kindred subjects. An officer once said: "We should be willing to make fools of ourselves for tho sake of the club.” She struck the key-note of the thought of many, but nevertheless the custom has been more honored in the breach than in the observance. There is one notable feature of this organization—the helpful Interest man­ ifested in it by the husbands of its members. This fact was especially evident when a year ago, in February, the twenty-first anniversary of its birth was publicly celebrated. Then men and women congratulated each other on the coming of age of an institution which lias, brightened and widens the outlook of the home.—Harper’s Bazar- • A GREAT OBJECT-LESSON. T h e World** F a ir W ill Show W h at Wom­ en A re Doing in tilt- lu d u * trla l World. A Chicago morning 'paper in speak­ ing editorially of a New York daily that has declared against women be­ coming bread-winners, puts the case clearly and concisely when it says: ; "Inasmuch as women have an unrea­ sonable fancy for food pud clothing, it would be interesting to know wliat our contemporary‘proposes to do about it, Will it agree to marry all the spinsters in the world? Will it support them as they arc or will it let them starve?” This is tho whole thing in a nutshell. There is a mighty multitude of women who have no means of support but • their own effort. They can not bo sent with McGinty to the bottom of the sea in this humanitarian age. Intliemean- iiine the law of the survival of the fittest continues its undeviating opera-- tions whether wo object or consent, and women, against all reason and tra­ dition, are surviving in large numbers. - Evidently enlightenment on this sub­ ject is'moving from west to east At the present moment the thousands of •. entry blanks already received at the • Columbian exposition headquarters show that very few of the articles en­ tered for exhibition have been wholly made by men. These blanks reveal that women's \\ <>:-Ulias become an im­ portant factor in almost every line of - tiie' world’s evt-i'v day activity. Her work lias now ] assed far beyond the line of experiment It is not n play grave or gay, but is os serious as any­ thing in life. I t is in fact the struggle for existence. There is no doubt that the g re a t,object lesson which tha N World’s fair will afford on this particu-*.,)1 lar question is greatly needed, and will result in eliminating a deal of dense ignorance on tho subject That woman in her progress.toward'tho individuality that man lias already gained will repeat his mistakes is what may bo expected, as, unfortunately, experience is not gained vicariously. But that she will not fail utterly, but will becotno in fact as she is in name—mnn> companion— is demonstrated beyond a peradventure, although those who are not possessed of "an open mind” do not yet realize it —Chicago Post BITS ABOUT WOMEN. N e x t to America, France employs more women'in clerical positions than any other country, N ei . ue C abhmajt , a tall, dark-eyed young woman 6f twenty-six years, is known all over Arizona as an unex­ celled mining expert T he Boston board of health reported recently that tho first license ever granted to a woman In tho city of Bos­ ton for the use of a hand-cart to peddle fruit bad been issued to a Jewess, Sin W u . mam G ill , one of the most, eminent physicians in Great Britain, says that tiie benefit derived from * university education, such as girls get at Newnlmm and Glrton, makes them and their children healthier. Mils. E mily K empix , the lawyer, is a slender woman of the German type, and a good mother to her four children. She is a graduate of the University of Zurich, and when lecturing wears the jaunty little black cap of the university on her ahapely head. Miss L aura W hite , sister of ex-Con< pressman J. D. White, is a professions* architect in Ashland, Ky. She is a graduate of Ann Arbor, atid was ths woman who solved the difficult mathe­ matical problem sent to that,institu­ tion from Oxford, Eng. Miss S usanna M. D uxicle has bees treasurer of the Newton, Mass., saving! bank for the past eleven years, and for a long time was the only woman hold* Ing such a position. Two similar ap­ pointments of women have recently been made in the same state. M rs . Et.t.KK M oore , of New York, has been in the undertaking businew over forty years. Sho was elected aa honorary member of ths Funeral Di­ rector* association of Pennsyivsnis which held its tenth annual conrcntio# reoently a t Reading. THE A stow t o 1 Our gi jSble to hot went thecauw Influenci proved V beprodu log it go difficulty sold 8Pri (through pose, pet have thii through In hot v warm a A Mr. plan wl tore of -an ordii ameter Butter, and lo’ The ; pretty c paratus ground izontal ■Where ■ jeciing FIO. Its tin .serve t Nthroup the roi leys at rectly . AtB t ' the up is com The 1 nailed eylind head i about feet d The one si placec notch tills d is clo; (not back Thei at Fif nailec down keeps vents break Into c FI- side hold5 dopr pull* The this pullt pulli pullt dow Mr for l l*ur< Only them twic tans Well pree _ yh Yon