The Cedarville Herald, Volume 13, Numbers 1-21

The CcsforriHeHamid W. M~ SHUCK,' *UbU»MV. CFOAimLLgL r r M r HOME. , ’T f» reearaamrtonkuirea-mifair, WliJi-UirraceCgraundHami'mvurtilo stair, iiiy wiwac(lariwuon thBfliwr; Jfo (direr plawatlonwEUodone; B)ir fair to m» vrUurftMr£ream In tout ivslaveil placjs, tnybom*. An IwmttteaMliiga'Bjlito Bin Qrwm Wimre ftranclian, fannwt by afry bran** M.Uiomusic far.,w«awi> ts»nut, MureaootblUiCtoonarfamimtuytlay. - Ob;,(tour toam, waers'ar £warn Titav cottons' In, for 'tinmy home: Wan wnaftitttwait too toils of Ufa, 1 -imi grtayeil ami fretted by itsHtrifo, Wi'.iti too world's and teadid WifUall itii foroe wnuiif drawo s in, . Howswoon, nowfoatfui »ou, Coroom.' S.u’ii to tom; lowly aft ttitgs homtt. Bui toon.no oartniy borne oafi be A iomo-eternally for me. So fulto Uiolfc*out buynod toi« iWe, So fraiifOltwjtii ohango, with partings rife, To Hoa-vut, w’l.oromany manetonabe. Thera ina' aliautpilosahomo torme. —Jennie 8 *. StouUar, to Goodall'a Sua. Lady IGeuyrlglitl t*p WKaiiwjj-ffinvi-paperCo .} CH-UrTEK XVXTL-Com'STSvma •TLiak>- ;ship u-",irriert secondly vi'ar.fla Vineexit. -^ms. at Julian Aosnsa'cm Vm* cent. Enquire, May 00, liKA by wbac. he bad issue George Archibald, 1 Ap­ ril 16. tSiS4r and Wanda. if. October 11, fSM,-” ■■Arid do j m chink. Dr. Forrester, that tile Wanda, aaaaati here la our Wanda?” Harry a&kerf with h s Kps. Srera'tUr.g with evciteulent. “Think! Why, man, l am sure at It,” Dr. Foreester ejiteufeited, sweeping' the air with his- pipe. *.Perhaps*yo& neve* had the honor of meeting his lord-ship tli.- Kart at Arlington"’” ,‘Mot L indeed" "Weil, if yon had yon would not p«r- baye be (w-»aai*prisft«fc’* '‘ Von knew him. Cher*?” . . **6 know his history, You.*?* t if . * yon, sir. a mas who is » walking-ency­ clopedia o f information afloat the great farstii** of England. ft has been a re- rar.fierneive—f woaid say, an interest- in.'’’ ctody.” ■• "And abont this lord? Oh, prey pmwffe <ur, f am burning with ■ c u rio s ity ." ■, ■ ‘ 'Wi-i; you hare told me or.e good story, it is tent fair that* I ston'd re- t(im the compliment. First let me fill r- •pipe, for f. like my poor friend '* .aekenty, am a man who can talk and *r,v>;<3 at the same time." Harry thought he never would begin. At last he commenced: “ Lord Arlington always was a mu’izaU wjt.t. As a boy he was always no to tricks—I knew his tutor well, the p.::wmt dean o f .’fitoefcton regia. By- t’-,--by. you ought to know the clean. I am sure Mr. Elardcastle would like yon to meet him before yon—" “ OK, pk-a.se keep to yonr at/j-ry, Harry pleaded ' Weil, my lord went Into the horse guards, but he did not stay there very lor. r, for he was requested to resign for ■a ‘‘i-rie* ■ o f taisdesieanora, which to a man, who kauri not staawherry leaves «jth, a mem detion, my boy. O f armrsa he treated her shamefully; ball site was w the end' coo* mttbli for bua; ;and *wenty years ago1, Md n » away fpr.m aer I liin't believe she baa ever QMtCt- ] Heard from, him since." i "Ifo^v strange-." SSSS j, .rVa s, anui the brutalife? of it waa, ; that be carried1oft .with him her F.ttlc i h ey —yin see the Lady Wanda wait not ’ 1ttorw efil after he dwappearedi’* J “ And, Psuppose Uia son by hia first ! wife re’-gned in hiu stead.”* i “ Sot a bit o f is,,r Dr Forrester j snapped,, “ for he disappeared several" months before his father.” ' I .‘vAnd<never retumeii?” ! “Sever! ft-was supposed chat he was- j killed in: some hunting eapeditioft- in- [ India; for he was the ciasrod- of ’She- i family, and had awpairedi quite a repu- i Cation for hia fool-hardy adventures." But, it was not of Lord Arundel Chat Harry had come to talk. *■Did you ewer see this hurt .Arlington, doctor'.’’' lie asked ! “ Many times." “ Was she a handnome woman?” “ Ton shall j’idge tor yomfseWf waa the prompt reply, "tor here- is her 'ph®: tograph.” As he spotot .he handed Harry, the pietnre. ' He stood gazing at it, struck ilnspb with ama-tesnent; for there before hint was the most perfect likeness o f the- Ido! o f hb» heart ‘-hia darling Wanda. ■"*JSh,n Formster eacSaimi*tl, “you are; eaptivatod. £S;a. rather a good picture of her, taken a* her beat, .when in m f Opisir.n she w;w the prettiest womajs us •Europe," • , - ‘Where ui she living now?** 'Efaarcy asked, trying to conceal his emotion. “ At Wtdmgtoo hall t» Derbyshire. For s«,oie years she has been a con- fbrmed inrialid ar,*i.«ees soon but.a" «>n- fidcnt.ia: frit.nd who shares hcT ratirw- Bsea*,” ■ “ A ’..niyw “ Why, no, a -gentleman; bu t; Lady . Arl.ngtonH iLfe ia ahiive tfcus breath o f umepknon. ■F&ol Ifaytcr ha* been a istoI*asg- frieral and alsnut. the .h£f& • m&n in the world- you wonki- Mt/tima&b Sv'dh-a-scandal.' “ fir,, f -vas a, t even hintiap^atTSsch a thing, hut how on earth can this throw any light cm the anteeedfettto- o f say ■young frtend, for you it « » & hoy.. ; and' a glrf, whicls lend Arlington ah- idacted.” - - “ V.-aA a ru.iua.ut, D-, 5 - .'•'« kz c .,( u - titiUcd. ” yo»-aarBBKMS8 than half in the' dark y et, for *e#». when thfi earl disap­ peared with tk *1poos woman's. Ke­ efer boy. mesujsngv I -don't ttoubt, to break her heart, she gave Mrth° ia less than three months after hia .departure to. a little girl—the Wanda mentioned here. Mow., when this little thing was two years old *th& w si stolen as every-, body believed by owe at the earl’s eialMaw *» and has r>v»r w co heard •of s;r.ef»« till you bring out news of her to-day." | “ Von apeSiv . -ry confidently. **! Bko-confideat. Ar.iL to show yon how rnwared I c a . let taws latorra yon that Tro-no to ctsrt for Wniingtcna hall fco-taorrwv mom'ng.” .- “ Yon do'” ’ . EEarry could not help saying. "Wbv, what bnsin^it can it “ WeBt perftapa yaw « » rigSt CbaUI you. maka it conv>ini*at*.to g o down, into Derbyshire- next wusk, afc?’ “ Ayev. my deoar young- friend, tbo# would suit me splendidly. Call tor ram here cn Taewlay morning early.” •Then, forthwith Harry .took. T ub de­ parture' and sped uxa swift hansom.' fc» , his lodgings. In tan mindees after hia |arrival lie had pocked a. vuliae and waa ! cu his way to the Midland railway ' station, chuckling to think how hia ! learned friend would, fume at hia precip- itsaney, ' . ’ J g a s p r o g xnc. .! u.iauT oRxaua nnxsxa. | Eam not going to emulate the news­ paper penny-a-Liner and talk about the ! iron-horse, whose.fieetnesa annihilates ; time and space; but E must share ia. ] Hairsy's surprise at .the quickness-of his ; journey from the metropolis to-the vil- : Iagft of -Willingtoo, a distance of one hundred and cwenCy-five ’ miles, which i lie aecompiiaheti iii. little more- tliari two j-.hourafc.- ^ j Tnfact, the village • church deck wan j just strikmg sis aa We strolled from the . pretty railroad station to Che quaint old |lattuse-wiiidnw**ii hostelry, the- “ .Irun- ^del Arms" — such a house of enterta-in- ; uient as Dickens would have l»:ved to' i picture. • . ’ ■ What a lovely place this vilhige w;us— 1doubly lovely in Harry’s ey**s, for it was j hia first glimpse of real rural England, i oussiiic the ’aeatea traete o f tiUisiat •travel, s The thatched cottages, the great gar- derw, the giant tri’cs, toe old stone h*,utvs, the ivy-clad «*.hur,,h. «anw in •tor a share of his admiration. Eto dev ted t.sat e~enmg to a teti*-*- W interview -it l‘j is host, a genial old to.vJw,. win* was glad to ■shan» with, the- y. -img Aaiericaxi gentieman else bottle of wine he or^tred tor the “ good . of the house,” ■ . ■•Know VvUlingtot! hall.’*' *aad that ■worthy, with a. v^poroua pisff at his • - long ‘ -ahnrebwnsni -a ’•pipe.' “ Why, sir, - I hired then* man usd n*y tor close on forty year. I’ve known it ever since LPveknown aayteung,' "f s it far fnas :u:-rc’” Harry asirciL ■About tiir s» aides, iver the prettiest ci a--.try tla-ey.-■of man ever rested on." “ 1heuril in London that the earl has act been there tor a long- time," young Er-.-tham r«ratur»d, ' f :t he knew how jcauius t!iesi? uM retainers were of the '- -.n ct t -ri ’ familtos to-which they had o*«m attached, “ Mot fir twenty years. Tin;re waa. a go<Ki .-Jem of talk About his going away, taking wjti-,- him as be did hia little bund son. with no one to tend '.'a V a t too, bu t V.uiiasa- BTaaion—th o u g h W il- r.'ara BUiion svas arigh t gnod sort for all that—and never to be heard o f all taftae years," An instant thought flashed through Harry’s brain. So wild a conjecture, that bs hardly ilarwi to entertain it. fam “ j name c* possibly he *A yourk atamr.jOrciL "it v ;«as ■ I mean- a go*j«i deal . trouble iati you to undertake, does it , not, fir. F<WT»-*.tor?” . ‘ "Trouh’.eT cried the doctor, excited- l Jy. -•Do.vouAhink I cot .shier anything : a trouble which helps toe to nnlvck the f skeleton cupboard o f a great family? 1IJesif&vE,**he, ecmtzr.xxd, while hit eyes , gle.lined cunning.,;, “ there is always a |profitable aspect in literary explora- tiora of this chiaracter.” I ' “ Sir!” ' I . “ Why," cried the doctor, .rubbing bis Ihands, “ the steward at the risismas’s |estate hi' * fortunate fellow; but the |steward o f his secrets is a plutocrat," * “ Ton mean that you would—" “ Interview Lady Arlington - i t might be worth—” "Sir!” Harr? broke forth, spiritedly, 1“ in m f country the mad who trades ou I women’s secrets Is accounted but a very I sorry fellow. Why, I’m not. going to I blackmail Lady Arlington!" - I “ Mor I. e.iker. Don’t put o s any o f |tfecte confounded republican airs with r, tor I'm not f feeman to stand it.” a tiate he sat glowering m fd* gneStiirvjrtGo-sssIleace, - Suddenly hat. : brow cleared. “ B a h , b o w fo o lish s re a re to q u a r r e l," She Said, witli aforted smile, “ for oar j interests are the same. .Each can do ■Me mat OM/Wtiaxo o s ins ocest tsr j nothing without the other." viftTtms sjr.KMCB i “ I do not quite see how you are nec- rmbwbrow , would have insured faf* J J f. ** bsing cashiered. Then he married Lord j Harryor^iaml. A'cwton Solney’s daughter, about ' M° V 6? “ ’S* ^ whose death there was considerable 1sneered “ Vc.l, ™f Z * c 1 ^ o * ,U vm Perhaps you read about it?" JH^cnly n.mw i m 1 suwosc ytm are “ Mo/ Harry smiled, “ 1don’t think 1 , B"W(? tn VnihsgUm hall to interview ^ b m m when it ooenned. if Burke is j tia t , h„ c that intentiom” “ True, 1 had forgotten. I Mw*r could quite get to the bottom o f that affair—not that 1 waa likely to do so; for if there is a than who hates scandal it is myself," “ And Lord Arlington, sir?" “ Well, after her ladyship's death, he kind o f sobered up for awhile—I be- lievethatis as American expression, but ft is very forcible—and led a re­ spectable life till lie waa forty years of age, when be startled society by run­ ning away with Miss Wanda Vincent, of Drury Lana theater, whose real aaaner f think was Baggy O'Bourke, but f cannot positively say." “ Hnrkesayashe waa the daughter o f Itrifct* August** Vfcwent, tearry itevranted esquire,” “ Then, tet use assure you that with* ,out my aid yoa might as well hope to ! force your way into Windsor castle as t j . imagine- you will get beyond the lodge gates of her residence. You doubt me! T iy it! Mb, sir, you cannot sail on that feme tack—you and I mast cruise in consort.” Harry reflected. So this distinguished literary gentleman, with tlie initials - i a dozen learned societies tacked on to Ids name, was little better than a ghoul, preying on the secrete o f the unfortu­ nate. But, he argned to himself, we do not regulate the killing of vermin by the rules of veaerle, so a little want of candor may be peiiatiasable in dealing with Dr. Forrester, So be said; •Djrd Arlington's i-Armuitti, ia’ffi not?" - • •-Wbach .it certainly is," assented J.^hn Horner. “ Hence the name of, my ' ho.-steIrj-. •'The Arundel Arms.’ " Harry rcflcrted for a minute. Tills ■landlord ■seemed an honest fejlow. Why not take him into his confidence and make a e! -an breast of the object ; of his mission? “ Well. Mr. H imer, I know ia Amer­ ica a y a-'. * r.ian wlm would fee likely to corre pond to the tost little blind 1boy.” . “ Inticed, sir!" * “ Yes. qnd many surrounding cirqum- stmlces ptdnt to his ideatificati'm. The yousg man I epeak v? is ju'-t the iage Ear* Arlrngton'* sot: would be; bis n j c ? Is ticorge Arumfci: bis aStecd- -,ant's Ls William. Bhalon: for years ; he has .been tvan«5ering over America : wjtb -h*.s father, who tiled a year ago; an ; at the present moment fee fs f In. BrwHtlyh at the house o f a friend o f min,.*." -fireat feeavena, man, do yon know what you are saying?” Homer gasped, - almost breathless at such astounding *news; “ but. ynn must let ms call my ■wife is-—she’s got a head oo her shoal* , dera and will set ns right aboutife. Why, if this young man be—-Martha! 3Iar- ihs'.” The fat landlord couldn't wait z to finish his sentence, but hurried to « the don? to call in stentorian tones for : his- better half. 1 She came. A tali, handsome old - woman, much older than her- husband, I her hair m white as .snow, and" wear* f ing a Mack shade over one o f her eyes, * It was nos an unkindly face, but there was a startled, pained expression j in it which attracted Harry’s .Instant : observation. She looked like one who I is expecting' some impending ■misfor* I tans to happen, ami is in daily dread of ?the blow falling* _ ’ - Remetaberiog Wanda Arlington’s dcs* *cription o f just such a person and that ‘ she associated her with affectionate ., reminiscences, he resolved to he more : candid with her than he had been with ’ her husband, who was now in a very |excited manner pouring into her ears ^the story he had just heard from the |young American. | “ Ah.” she said with » sigh, "how you I startled me. I thought it was of the lit- *tic girl you might have heard." | “ And, perhaps, I bring you news of f her too, Mrs. Horner,” Harry said. | The color left the woman's face ia a I moment. f “ Of the lady Wanda?" she asked, “ of i the sweet, babe we—but, John Horner I go down and attend to the customers; it will never do to leave the bouse no* tended." Honest John was loath to obey ba t behest, but in this ease the gray mare waa evidently the better home; for ahe I pnrsaigoortly aederad Mamta gn a dutifuLyweat. , “ Sow, Hr, we are aksae,” aha- ( “ and for heaven's m I ck . ia*aj>m*; ao long- j «r in. suspense.” { Harry Eveaiiuin told hia story, watch* ; ing with interest the aorahge fihatuai. i tte>nt» in the woman's axpreauiou aa tha t details developed. * Wlnm ae hail' finished, he handed her! ; Wanda’s: portrait. ‘ ■> ■ .“ How—like—.what—her— mother— j ; was," Mrs. Horner sobbed, devouring' ' the picture with her eyes, j “Then you are sure o f her identity?” , “ Aa sure aa that £ am sitting in tins ; chair; sir." & i “ Anri, will'you help pie' to prove TOiat irfeatiityl” ■| “ Will I? Oh. sir, 1 thank the good; Lord that He-'liaa sent you. here to give j me the chance-to do*sd,” ’ .; 3£rs. Horner waa trembling violently, i and-tears were running down her cheeks ; —there waa no doubt of her sincerity. -’ Eli, but l have been a wicked worn - , an, and dearly liave I paid for iny evil- ■ •dMar," she sobbed. 1 “ Pray he calm,, my good creature,” Harry interposed. “ Bepentanee and rtMstisution—"■ “ Aye,” she <-rie«i, wildly, “ now for repentance and reHtitution;*’ “ My Ntory ia a foag and a sorrowful one; wbl y- >uhear it.?" the worthy uuui- lady a-dp*d, .aintroUiag lu-v emotion with ditH.rjlty, , . . -'Most giaxD.y;'’ 'Harry <leidar(»,i, over­ whelmed wiiB the turn: afiairs. had Ealeen. • -Et seems to me-but the-other day,” Mr-i. Horner began, “ that I went aa waiting-maid to toe IialL vet it is near- ' k m J ' p r |! : f i - - 1 9 ■ i A ■ i ! aiiir. PEnp..>«;>ToaTt.r osa>Knsn Etrvt to bo , A.VTV HE DCTtffCLt.T WEtTT. ly forty years ago—a pretty -young w> man I was, then, though trouble has a-rink! ;d my face now—and John Archer, the ander-coachman, began his attentions to me hef :r>i I was there a week. This was just prior to the death, of the first Lady Arlington, and soon after this event, Archer and I- were mar* ried ami went into housekeeping at Willington, Wo had one boy, who was tlic iiisi! of my heart, and his father, too, loved him even more than he did me; but the poor fellow never lived to see him a man, being killed in a run­ away aeeiileot’thirteen years after our marriage, when I retcrn«*d again into my lord's service, which my Willie also entered aa page-boy. Then the earl married again—this time far lielow him, the match feeing^violently opp»>sed by his Min. Lord Arin lei. then just come, of age. 1was taken as my lady's own w<,maa and so got to know more about the ^-Ti-.rs f the fimlly than the Other servants. A15went well until sifter the birth of the newiy-iaarried >oapte’s first child, a little b»jy whom they, chris­ tened Ucorgs* Archibal-.L when they fje- gan to quarrel, chiefly over a friend of tay lady s whocarae toliva at the haU.” ■“Air. Rani Havrer?” Harry asked “ Yea. IT-.af d i yoa know o f him?” Mrs. Homer queried in much surprise. “ Bat little—pray proceed” “ Well, from tha day o f the coming of thLi Hayter th re was trouble.” “ Was the earl Jealous?” “ 1 think so. Y--.W. in fc-g younger days Lonl Arlington had been a very ; gay man, and it appears that fee had; contracted a disreputable secret mat-; rings with a French adventuress wMcb ’ fee managed to conceal, theyoung wom­ an dying most opportunely at an ob­ scure village in. Italy. When fee In­ sisted 'on his wife dismissing Hayter. they famed upon him with the revela­ tion that bis first marriage was known to them, that his first wife had net died as fee supposed in Italy, but had lived till after his- marriage with the daugh­ ter of the ear! o f Newton Solney; that consequently that marriage was Hull and void. Lord Arlington had been guilty o f bigamy, and Lord Arundel was illegitimate. They had plenty of proof for tfeeir statements. The ap­ palled nobleman, conscience-stricken and heart-sick, yielded to every demand they made. Lord Arundel was to be in­ formed of the true state of affairs, to give np the title and all claim to the estates, receiving a large present sum o f money, Hayter was to be privileged to make his homo at the hall, and in the coarse o f time her own child, George, was to succeed to ti^c and estates, thongh not drawing attention to the scandal fey assuming the ‘title of courtesy’ until a sufficient number o f years bad elapsed after. Ambrose’s disappearance to make the claim legal to the ordinary course o f toe law.” |re m wsiD roioal A r r »e «w “ What is BagV j’s «M «f i t e m ? ’ ^Btaerite." hum* * * PERSONAL. AR P ltoffERSOWAL. —A 'JEboiir Island s o u made a net profit. <;f 88,TOOin six months by raMng aknnks for market. He Mills the felts m11ha cdorona animals at good figarca, end manufactures skunk oii, which, he dispones o f to the- druggista for a rheu­ matic cure: —<->aa of Alljuqnerque'a (2f. M. j pub­ lic school teachers is about to marry an Indian now attemling the govern­ ment Indian school there. The brave is said z-.i be very bright, and one who on hia return home will probably he. elected chief of the iriiie. —Eighteen opossums -were captured and penned by a farmer in Crisfieid, To. . On the foliowiag maming he waa the- most surprised man in the countv. A il hia opdsaums had escaped during the nignt, and had. devoured, ato hia chiclcena, thirty-five in number, —A shore lime pgo a boy baby was burn in Salt Lake- Ciiy who had a birth mark of a blood-red blotch immedi­ ately over its heart The- mark was exactly a. bullet wound which killed a. brother of the mother, over a year be­ fore the .child waa bora, which tile motner had seen. —After U German had been in this country a.year or .two he saved 51 ,(WO and returned to hie native land. His ■re.ntives refused to believe it possible • that he could, have corae honestly by such a sum -a so short a time and wrote to America to- see- if he had not com­ mitted some crime; —Two masked menentered a variety store in West Newton, N. and startled the owner, .an. old lady, by or­ dering her to shell out the contents af the till. As she refused, they ‘violent­ ly seized her; and in the struggle which ensued the mask dropped from the face of one of the thieves, revealing her own son; / ■ ■ ■ . ■ —Sir Edwin Arnold desires to say that he never said that the stars and stripes would- eventually float over every section of South America He also wishes it understand that he never said anything that could be twisted or distorted into snch a ridiculous proph­ ecy. This seems to be sufficiently em­ phatic. —Besides her own daughter, Miss. Winnie Davis, the widow of Jefferson Davis haa also an adopted- chfid, now sixteen years of age. Her former-name wax' Bettie- Tillman, and Mrs. Davis’ interest in. her date;; back about five, years. The girl formerly lived at Beauvoir, Miss., but is now in a north­ ern schooL —Julia and Mary Howard, twin sis­ ters, died at their home in Wilkesbarre,. Pa., almost at the same. time. Their deaths occurred on the. same dav of the year and at the- same hour that they were born. They were 30 years of age; One was a victim of pneumonia and the other of dropsy. They had lived with each' other always., I - - —-——- - “ A LITTLE NONSENSE.” —Editor—“ Fme paid for this joke be­ fore.” Humorist—-“ You never paid me for is.” —Kate Field’ s Washington. —Why He Failed—Tain—“ How did To id son get on ia business?” Jack— “He failed.” Tom—“ So he didn't -suc­ ceed,' poor fellow.” Jack—“Oil, yes, he did. That’s why ha failed. ”—Yankee Blade. —A gentleman who discovered that he was standing cn a lady’s train had the presence of mini to remark: ‘ “Though I may not have the power to draw an angel from the skies, I have pinned one t» the earth.” ’ The lady excused him.—TId Bits. —Frantic Mother—‘ -Come quick, doc­ tor! Baby has swallowed my. silver thimble!” Doctor—“ What was the thimble worth?” F. M,—“ Fifty cents.” Doctor—“Well, yon don’t want to pay two dollars and a half just to get a fifty cent thimble* do yon?” —“T don’t think a man should be In charge o f a humorous paper who can’t take a j :-ke.” **I should think not. But do yon know of » case of the kind?” “ I db. Pv» seat * number to the editor o f the SMespHtter and they’ve all been seat back.”—SI Y. Press. —Great Pugilist—“ Say, 1 want shoo ter issue a ehaHeag*' f cr me ter fight, that man PlngUgly, on de fust o' next meat”. See?” His Manager—.“ But fee's got a fight on for that date.” “ D neher a'pose I know flat? If fee., hadn’t I wouldn’t- challenge him." — Boston. Mews, —“ Is it true,” said the reporter, rushing breathlessly into the railroad superintendent’s office, “ that there ,was a tifenp on the road last night?” “ Yea” responded the official, there waa Our agent- at Burrard’s Fork married his typewriter.’’—St. Jd.icph ■News —Helping _Him O a l—Birgn—“ Did yoa succeed in catting down on your shopping expenses this month, as f re­ quested?” Mra Bingo—“Oh, yes, In­ deed, dear. Yen know that nice wool­ en underwear yo* wanted? Well, I got something in cotton much cheaper.’* —Cloak Review. —M. Got, the famous old comedian o f the ComeJie-Francaise can occa­ sionally fee toe a ? c f the stage as weft m on. The other <toy an author was reading Ms. drama, when, taming around, he perceived that the great eomediau had fallen asleep He turned aad reproved the sleeper. How was It possible, he argaed, foe a a a x to e s ­ teem aaoptoioa o f a flay when he was •onad asleep? M. Got tabbed hi* eye. and remarked, with a yawn, to the aagry dramatist* “ Sleep faaa opiakna* —Btega I - I \