Cedarville Magazine, Spring 2018

or Jazmin (Gmuer) Taylor ’97, working with expectant mothers is a God-given mission. “I have a tremendous amount of patience with my birth moms,” Taylor explained. “I really just try to tell them they’re making one of the toughest decisions in their lives. It is so sacrificial to give up your child. They deserve respect; I offer them gentleness and compassion. It’s the best thing you can do for a birth mom.” And that’s true regardless of their circumstances or the decisions that led to the adoption. Taylor is committed to offer a listening ear and an open-hearted kindness that lifts up her birth moms. “Most of the women I work with are trying to make the best choice, though not always,” she said. “One example was a birth mom addicted to drugs. We thought the baby would be drug-addicted, but he ended up not having very many problems. She made the choice to place him for adoption.” The hardest part is seeing expectant moms very conflicted about the decision. “I don’t try to sell them on giving the baby up, only if they really want to,” Taylor said. “But when they’re convinced and we match them with an adoptive family, and they’ve been together a few months and then the baby’s born, it’s really hard when they change their minds. You see how heartbroken the adoptive parents are.” Taylor is an advocate for open adoption, where the adoptive parents and the birth mom keep an open line of communication, and there’s a concerted effort to sustain a lifelong relationship between birth mom and the adopted child. “I believe it is in the best interest of the child for everyone to be open, because when you hide stuff, it’s not healthy for any party,” she said. “I encourage my families to be open with their children, to encourage texting and phone calls with birth mothers, and to allow visits.” Taylor speaks from personal experience as well. She and her husband adopted a little boy, Thomas, now 10, and have kept an open relationship with his birth mom. The Taylors also have an older son, William, 17, and a daughter, Melissa, 15. AMAZED In her work with expectant moms, Taylor helps them develop an adoption plan and serves as a liaison between them and prospective adoptive parents. While she finds it very gratifying to see a child matched with the right family, there can be trials. For Taylor, she sees many birth moms in a perpetual cycle of miserable decision-making. “They see adoption as a form of birth control or a source of income,” she said. “It is very hard as a social worker to see them do drugs and have babies.” Yet she’s never shown anger toward an expectant mom. She’s remained patient, kind, and . . . amazed. “I have such compassion for them,” Taylor said. “I’m so amazed by them. This is the hardest decision they’ll ever make in their lives. Seeing them in such despair, deciding they have to make this choice. Even when they change their minds, I’ve never lost my cool with a birth mom.” F 16 | Cedarville Magazine