Cedarville Magazine, Spring/Summer 2016

Human Life as Fearfully and Wonderfully Made WeBelieve in Engagement] in Cedarville, I was able to speak with Dr. Melissa Burns [Melissa (Hartman) Burns ’00, Assistant Professor of Biology] andDr. Dennis Sullivan [Professor of Pharmacy Practice and Director of the Center for Bioethics]. After my conversation with them, I felt the Lord empowering me to go back and be Truth and Light to my doctor who, just days before, had given us the option of ending my pregnancy — our son’s life! We had seen his heart beating and his 10 tiny fingers and toes. He was fearfully and wonderfully made. I wanted to feel Noah kick for as long as God would allow. We were resolved in believing Job 12:10, “In his hand is the life of every living thing and the breath of all mankind.” We were heartbroken that we would lose Noah — never hear him giggle and tease his two older brothers, never walk him to the bus stop, never teach him to ride a bike. As the weeks went on, the Lord brought to mind a chapel message by Alistair Begg that I heard as a student at Cedarville from Psalm 31. I reached for my Bible and traced each word with my finger. “But as for me, I trust in you, O Lord, I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hand” (Ps. 31:14–15). The Holy Spirit reminded me of a truth I naively underlined more than six years earlier, to claim for such a time as this. Saying goodbye to Noah shortly after birth was the most faith-testing and painful situation we had ever experienced. There were many days our feelings would tempt us to believe the age-old lie: If God really loved us then He wouldn’t have allowed this to happen. But our faith reminded us that what was True before this crisis would also be True after. God didn’t change. Our hearts began to heal. Two years later, we were excited to be expecting again. JOANNA CLAIRE We knew there was a 25 percent chance this baby could have the same condition as Noah. But we were not prepared to learn at our 13-week ultrasound that our baby girl was in heart failure. Her heartbeat was 75 beats per minute, half of what it should have been. The doctor delivered the news, “She will likely not make it through the weekend.” Our hearts broke. Here we were again. I began to question God. What didn’t I learn the first time? Why this road AGAIN? I slowly learned that it wasn’t about me. My babies were made for His glory. I may never know the scope of the impact their lives have made here on earth. I chose to be thankful for each moment I had with my daughter. At biweekly appointments we saw the buildup of fluid in her abdomen grow. The reality was at any moment her heart could become too overwhelmed to take another beat. We named her Joanna Claire because we wanted a permanent reminder that God is gracious and that He used our daughter as His shining light. We believed God formed her wonderfully stubborn heart. Fourteen weeks later it took its last beat. Joanna’s life and death were unimaginably difficult for our family. Never has 2 Corinthians 12:9 been more real to me. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” EMILIE ALYSE Almost two years later, our perfectly healthy daughter, Emilie, went to be with Jesus just one week before her due date. With no medical explanation, we were left again with a choice — do we believe? Even in this? I have learned that when God enables us to rejoice and praise Him through our suffering (Hab. 3:18), it demonstrates powerfully to those around us that God is still God. He never changes. He IS in control. By His grace, Mike and I choose daily to trust His hand. I think about our beautiful children every day and what our family could have been like. The impact of loss is real. They have left a legacy of life for our family. In sharing Noah, Joanna, and Emilie’s stories, I get to tell of God’s fierce love for every single life, no matter how small or how brief or how broken. God has a plan for each of us. That is His marvelous GRACE. Kristin (Kuhn) Koning ’00 is married to Mike and mom to three other fearfully and wonderfully made children: Trent, 13; Drew, 11; andAnnalise, 3. To readmore of her family’s story, visit koningklan.blogspot.com . I have learned that when God enables us to rejoice and praise Him through our suffering, it demonstrates powerfully to those around us that God is still God. 28 | Cedarville Magazine