Cedarville Magazine, Summer 2013

For some people, restaurants, the gym, and even their own kitchens are battlegrounds where inner demons voice incessant commentary on their every action and desire. You can’t have dessert today — you haven’t been to the gym. Don’t burden anyone with your work stress — have some ice cream. You deserve it. You’ll eventually eat that entire bag of potato chips — do it now, and get it over with. By some estimates, as many as 11 million Americans, women and men, have an eating disorder. But what about the estimated 34 million who engage in disordered eating — those who use or avoid food for comfort and control, who chronically diet and compulsively exercise? To be clear, there is nothing wrong with healthy eating and regular exercise. The problem is in the motivation that drives our behaviors. When exercise becomes evidence of our adequacy, there’s a problem. When our pants size summons our sense of security, there’s a problem. When food stops being a fuel source and becomes proof of our self-worth, there’s a problem. It has become easier to identify an eating disorder and intervene when it begins to wreak havoc on someone’s life. It’s more difficult to identify what we can’t see — thoughts and feelings behind external behaviors, which may be deeply rooted in our past. They tell us lies about who we are and why we aren’t good enough. We turn to food or exercise to quiet them, to find comfort from the pain, or to regain a sense of control. How can we change our disordered thought patterns before they develop into something more? Remember your value and worth are secure in Christ . This truth offers hope that no food or gym membership can provide. When we are “enough” in Him, food maintains its proper place as a source of fuel that God graciously provides. Enjoy all foods in balance, variety, and moderation . Dessert isn’t the enemy, and salad isn’t the Holy Grail. Both can fit well into a balanced diet along with red meat, sweet potatoes, asparagus, lasagna, carrots, and, yes, even bread. Variety makes our relationship with food an enriching experience. Resist the urge to body-bash . We don’t need to flog ourselves for having a second cookie or drone on about how “fat” we think we are. Show yourself some kindness and respect, and seek the Lord’s help in changing the focus of your attention. When you start to hear the same song play over and over on the radio, you change the channel, right? Do the same with your thoughts when repetitive, shaming self-talk begins. Discern false messages and counteract themwith truth . You, in fact, are not what you eat, and neither are you what you weigh, your body mass index, or your pants size. Being alert to messages that spread these lies is a valuable step. Focus on what ultimately defines you: the grace and truth of the risen Jesus Christ. Know when to seek professional help . If the way you think about food, fitness, or your body dictates the way you think about yourself, your value, or your worth, talk to someone. By proactively addressing disordered eating or exercise habits, you can enjoy living your life rather than trying to control it. You can also redirect your worship away from your dinner plate, the scale, or the treadmill toward the only One who loves you as you are and holds you securely in His grasp. Jenny Beck is a counselor for Cedarville’s Counseling Services. She holds a master’s degree in clinical counseling fromAshlandTheological Seminary, and she is a member of the International Association of Eating Disorder Professionals. She provides individual counseling and co-leads a support group for eating disorders on campus. You may contact her at jbeck@cedarville.edu. Cedarville Magazine | 23 If You Suspect a Loved One Has an Eating Disorder If you think a loved one has an eating disorder, the most important thing you can do is encourage the person to talk to a counselor. Eating disorders are complex and deeply rooted. Professional help is nearly always needed to overcome them. When you do share your concerns with your loved one, keep these guidelines in mind: n Accept that your friend may not be ready or willing to change now. n Show respect and humility by listening more than talking. Avoid lecturing. n Do not assume you understand why your friend is struggling or what he or she needs to get better. n Respect your friend’s response without resorting to begging, arguing, threatening, or making assumptions. n Plan ahead what you want to say. Share what you have specifically observed that led to your concern. n Avoid focusing on weight or appearance, which may unin- tentionally reinforce unhealthy behaviors. Instead, focus what you say on your concerns for his or her overall health, which includes the toll the disorder takes emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Counseling Services recommends these online resources: findingbalance.com nationaleatingdisorders.org something-fishy.org cedarville.edu/counseling Quieting the Voices by Jenny Beck