The Gavelyte, December 1911

Cl!}IJAl{VlLLB CULLBGB. 222 WIT and HUMOR Wit and Humor. i The dirt blew from a post hole in the " . I hillside and left the hole sticking out of Smith: Have you_heard ~f the mira- , the ground about two feet with no dirt cle that happened this morning?" J around it. Jones: "No, what was it?" I (Her husband called up stairs and Smith: "They arrested a deaf woman I asked her how soon she would be ready. last night, and she recieved her hearing I "I'}! be ready in a minute and a half, h . . t 9 ' I k " E dear. t 1s mornmg a O c oc · - x. 1 "Oh, thanks! Then I'll be able to Bill- "When I called you out of your finish the rest of this book. There are name yesterday, I was awfully mad. I I only six chapters more.") got hot under the collar." ONLY ONCE. Frank- "! thought I smelled rubber (A farmer riding on a certain railroad asked the conductor on a recent trip: burning. " - Ex. "How often do you kill a man on this St. Peter- "Did you take your college I ' ere line!" paper?" . I "Just once," replied the conductor?") Student- "Yes sir." i "How to Kill a College Paper." St. Peter- "Did you p:iy for it?" J 1- Always keep knocking on the pa- Student- "No, sir.·• j per. St. Peter- "First elevator down 2--;-Neyer contribute anything for I pubhcat10n. please. " - Ex. . 3- Don't subscribe for a paper but SOME WIND, THAT. sponge the reading off some one else. A southeastern wind hurled tumble Mother- ''Why Bobby, why are you weeds and Russian thistle through the feeding the baby yeast?" Bobby - "Bohoo ! she swallowed my air at a twenty-mile ga1e: the gait went, fifty cents and I'm trying to raise the too. Many stoves were drawn out of dough." the chimneys; the wind blew in at the THE LEXICON OF SPORT. neck of a bottle and blew the · bottom "Pa, what is a football coach?" out. Nebraska wagon tracks passed I The ambulance, I suppose. " - J;'itts- .over the town by the thousand. 1 burg Observer. . The strain on the wire fences was so i Impatient teachet, growing disgusted great that staples were drawn out of "Yo~1; answer is about as clear :as the north side of the posts. A kerosene muBd._ h t d t "W. 11 th t . . rig t s 1:1 en - e , a covE~.rs barrel standmg m front of a grocery the ground, doesn't it?"- Ex. store was sucked out of the bung-hole J Bub- "Father who was Shylock?" and turned inside out, like a lady's slip- j Father- "Shame on you, Bub, go per. I s tudy your Bible. "