The Gavelyte, May 1908

ao THE GAVELYTE,. Our Wives. J. A. Fl EY, 'Oh. Mr. Toast-master, Lariies and Bachelors: I suppose I come second on the program for the same reason in a play there is a second act- to fill in between the curtain raiser and third act, or at a banquet there is a second course- the only logical place for the hm,h. "Our wives" - such a delightfully serious subject. The committee have made a big confession in selecting this subject to be toasted, admitting by it they are not at heart confirmed bachelors. Am certainly glad of the fact for by it the ladies seem to be put at ease. Altho an honorary member of the BachE>lors' Club and very proud of the fact too-I have always been doubtful of its perpetuity, knowing full well that a lady's winning smile is stronger tlrnn any oath taken, even if, with lifted hand and solemn accents it be, "no wedding bells for me". Btit the ladies will smile and the bachelors are bound to get caught. Ah, Bach~ elor friends listen, how nice it would be to arrive home from the cares a11d trials of the day, to be met at the door by the good wife, to have her throw her arms about your neck and caress the troubled furrows from your brow, to tg,ke your hat and lead the way gaily to the dining room, to pass thP coffee and the biscuits- such biscuits, oh, those biscuits, mother never baked anything like them. Once there was a man, a married man, who came home at night as a married man should, and instead of that usual bunch of sunshine to meet him at the door his l<:>vely wife, with many a sob and tear, threw herself in her husband's arms. Gently caressing her he asked the trouble . ''O", she sobbed, ''the mice have ea.ten up all those lovely bisc.;uits I baked all myself." ''There, there now" said he, "don't feel so bad over a few little mice. They're surely out of misery by tbis time." - Then after tha meal is over to draw up around th e cozy fire and- but now what is the use for me to reiterate tl1e dreams all of you have dreamt a hundred time'. It is exasperating. It would be more to the point to say something of th ci trials and troubles encountered in winning this happy home. Our bachelor friend with the classic brow has confided to me the in– formation that, he has solved the problem, that the way is clear to him. When he is ready for a wife he says he will get some t~a and Brew(h)er. Our friend with tlw ~oeialistic vi ews thinks it would all be so easy if ..