1 92 1 THE CEDARVILLE COLLEGE GAZETTE 2 EXPOSE OF CONDITIONS IN CEDARVILLE COLLEGE Well founded rumors of a shocking state of affairs prevailing in Cedarville College during the past few years led the Ancient Order of Amalgamated Scandal Mongers, knowing that these reports must be true, because they always are, to appoint a committee of investigation to establish their truth. This committee did its work faithfully and well and submits the following authenticated and anonymous report: "Your committee respectfully reports that after a careful, prolonged, and arduous inquiry, lasting through more than five whole mlnutes, it found the situaVon far worse in every , respect than had bzen anticipated. It discovered, for instance, that the students, and even, we are sorry to say it, the professors, believe in what they call a "democratic spirit." Under the impetus of this vague entity, the custom has grown up of the students managing their own affairs and even, scandalous as it may sound, of having their own chosen officers for this purpose. We were told, though we hardly know whether to believe it or not, that the faculty even consults the students on matters of common interest. But this we do know, that any student may rise to any position of honor or trust in the institution in spite of the mean position of his family or his lack of money. This is an insult and an outrage that should be remedied at once. "Furthermore, and worst of all, in our opinion, it is declared to be an actual 49 fact that the students are dominated by what the president of the said institution is pleased to call 'co-operation.' Shades of bye-gone student days—and nights! Whoever heard of the like? Instead of the respectable and dignified rough house of student pranks, class scraps, inter-society rows, and personal rumpuses and feuds that used to hang over the professors' heads (till the strings looke) with such a noble inscription as "Love one another," instead of these, allow us to repeat, we have today—'cooperation'! How a college run on such principles can be blessed is beyond us! "The ideas prevailing among the members of the faculty we found exceedingly low and grovelling. Instead of lecturing, as they ought to be reminded they are paid to do, on the lofty speculations of the ancient philosophers and the beautiful conceptions of the classic poets, thee misguided individuals seem to think that their function is to make the students do the work of their own education. And, by an ingenious system of devices, almost redolent of its brimstonic origin, they succeed in this to a most marvelous degree. "One of the worst superstitions pervading faculty and student body alike is the strange belief that work and pleasure can be combined, that one may have a good time and yet do good college work. How such an idea ever got started is difficult to see, but so deeply ingrained is it now that to say a word against this popular notion is regarded as the rankest heresy. "The moral conditions existing among
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