Cedars, December 2018

December 2018 4 COVER by Paolo Carrion A fter over a year of paperwork, interviews, fundrais- ing and dozens of rejections, Adam and Hannah Southerland finally held a baby in their arms. “I still get emotional thinking about it,” Hannah said. They sent the cute profile book of themselves to dozens of families, drove three hours on a day’s notice, spent days filling out paperwork and checked their email every hour. Families said no for months until Adam and Hannah met Deb in July of 2017. She was due in November, and they were excited at the idea of having a baby for Christmas. When they met, Deb (name changed to protect her identity) was technically homeless; her mom had kicked her out of the house. By the time the baby arrived she had moved into low-income hous- ing and signed up for food stamps. In those five months, Adam and Hannah did what they could to help Deb in any way that she needed. “God has put a hurting mom in our lives. How do you not love on her?” Adam asked. “No one does an adoption because things are going good. Every one is somewhat of a crisis pregnancy. From the beginning, we said, ‘as much as this is about a baby, we want to love on a mom, also.’” Adam and Hannah began canceling meetings and appointments to minister to Deb. They saw her almost weekly, taking her to get groceries and to pick up belongings from her mother’s house, or to just get a meal and spend time together. In late November, they took Deb to the hospital to get her high blood pressure checked. She tested positive for preeclampsia, which can lead to brain injuries, blood clot- ting and eventually infant death. The C-section was unex- pected but necessary. The Southerlands donned scrubs and joined the team of nurses. Hannah held Deb’s hand during the procedure, and Adam stood to the side, ready to take pictures with his phone. And on Nov. 28, 2017, their baby was born. “Dad, do you want to cut the umbilical cord?” the hospital staff asked Adam. They already knew he and Hannah were adopting the baby. Adam cut the umbilical cord and held the baby first. Their baby. They planned to name him Boaz Brock, and they spent that night changing his diapers, feeding him and loving him. The next day, something felt off. Deb had grown with- drawn overnight. She had already placed a child for adop- tion, and while it’s not the same as a miscarriage, it felt like she lost a baby. It’s difficult to relive that feeling. Deb had become more and more quiet with each pass- ing hour. The original plan was for the Southerlands to move into a separate hospital room while Deb recovered, but she insisted they all share a room with the baby. “Whatever she wanted, we were going to do,” Hannah said. “Whatever she needed.” Still, it’s difficult to explain the disappointment they felt when Deb told them she wanted to keep the baby. “Our flesh was saying ‘we hope you struggle,’ because we could have given this baby everything,” Adam said. “But that’s not right … but we had to tell her we love her, because we do.” So they prayed. “God, you love this baby more than we do. We hope that you provide for him.” They said goodbye, kissed the baby and left the hospi- tal, past the confused doctors who must have been wonder- ing why they were leaving with an empty car seat. “It was a hard 45-minute drive home,” Adam said. “It was the worst day ever,” Hannah said with a laugh. On their blog, they wrote “We had just spent two days loving on a baby that we thought was soon going home with us to be our son.” Disappointed, they went back to sending out the profile book to families looking to make an adoption plan. Adop- tion had been on their hearts for years, before they even started dating. After moving to Cedarville University, where Adam works as the resident director for the Brock residence hall, they began talking about the possibility of adopting a child before having a biological one. And, although it start- ed as a joke, their mindset soon shifted from “what if” to “why not?” “We’re not adopting because we believe we have fer- tility issues,” Adam adds. “We’re adopting because of the Gospel.” It was a strange thing to explain to their families. “The Bible doesn’t say anything about ‘taking care of orphans if you’re infertile.’ You know what I mean?” Han- nah said. “Adopting because you can’t have your own [bi- ological] kids is well and great; lots of people do that, and that’s still a great reason to adopt. But for us, we were like, ‘well why does that have to be the only reason?’ We’re all commanded to be taking care of orphans in some way, Baby Wren Comes Home for Christmas Photo courtesy of Catherine Milliron Adam and Hannah Southerland say they feel blessed and happy after adopting their baby girl, Wren.