name for myself or a category for myself Because although I looked African-American, I was Ethiopian - but I also didn't speak the language or have anything from the culture. And, although I was raised in a white family I didn't look like them." Scheie said. "I think learning about American history started to get me thinking about the question of 'Where do I fit in?' I don't have the same heritage as Black African-Americans here, and I grew up in a very different culture from them" Scheie's parents were open about her adoption, and wanted them to ask questions they were wrestling with. While her parents were supportive and present. Scheie had to wrestle with her identity on her own One day. Scheie heard a sermon from a biracial speaker. who spoke about feeling like he didn't fit in with either side of his family. While the feeling of being "in-between· was isolating. the speaker saw this as a strength and opportunity to be a bridge between different types of people since he related to both groups. Scheie began thinking of her position similarly and realized that Jesus was in a similar situation while on earth. "Christ was often the advocate between people groups that didn't want to get along and didn't want to fit into each other's cultures,· Scheie said. "Instead of seeing it as a curse, He saw it as a blessing to be the one that gets to bring people together I started viewing my position as an adoptee in that way." Once she started thinking this way, Scheie found herself wanting to know more about her culture of origin. She dove into researching Ethiopia and found it was a helpful way to combat imposter syndrome. Before, Scheie felt uncomfortable when people asked her questions about Ethiopia. By learning about her birth country, Scheie felt like she had an understanding of the six years before her adoption. Scheie recal!ed that people asked her whether she thinks about the fact that she's Black. Smiling, she answered, "No." "Do you think that your eyes Fall 2022 From left to right; Jean Walker (Maggie's mom), Joseph Mattackal (Maggie's fiance), Maggie Walker, David Walker (Maggie's Dad), and Maggie's siblings Holly, Lilly and Ben./ Photo provided by Maggie Walker. are brown or green' No one goes around consciously thinking that." Scheie said. "I think the journey is getting to the balance of knowing your identity is founded in Christ - knowing that He's given you the way you look, the experiences you've had, the people you've met as good things - they're not a waste, they were meant for something." Scheie wants everyone to know: "Ask good questions .. Instead of guessing about a family that has adopted children, give them the honor of telling you. Ask what their story is and if they don't mind sharing it. After asking an adoptee their story, be gentle in your response to them. Even a "thank you" means something to them because it is a big, and possibly painful, part of their life. "Asking 'how are you doing now?' and 'how do you see God in this?' or 'how can I be praying for you?· is much better than saying well. 'that's so cool.'" Scheie said. "And maybe it is. maybe they agree with you, but sometimes it can be something personal and they're not healed through it yet." To fellow adoptees, Scheie says, "Give yourself grace· Grief is something that can often be overlooked as an aspect of an adoptee's life. It is important to Schere that adoptees recognize their grief and how they got past it as a part of their story. "The reason we have adoption is that there was brokenness at some point. We grieve broken families. broken leadership and government and countries that led to this. And thank goodness for God's grace that adoption is a thing, but your first step is grief.'' Scheie said. "I know that telling your story can get tiring There are seasons when you're healing more from things Don't be afraid to lean into all of that. there's no shame in that It's just more strengthening in the end to yourself and your story.· *** To echo Scheie, telling one's adoption story is a brave and sometimes difficult thing to do. In the end, we are all just people made by God, each as complex as the next. How significant were t hose months, years and so on these adoptees spent in their birth countries? How significant is it to our identities where the cultures and ethnicities we were born into are? In reading these adoptee stories, perhaps the most accurate answer is that there are no blanket answers. Wrestling with these issues !ooks different for each adoptee. But as Geist put it. "Being an adoptee is a part of us whether we like it or not. The truth transcends perception. and the truth is reality." Maggie Walker is a senior political science ma;or and hopes to al!end law school after grao'uDtion. She enjoys exploring art museums and trying new foods, being part or the MlSO officer team, working out. and listening to the same song until nauseous CED.JlS 17
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTM4ODY=