For some people, restaurants, the gym,
and even their own kitchens are battlegrounds
where inner demons voice incessant
commentary on their every action and desire.
You can’t have dessert today — you
haven’t been to the gym. Don’t burden
anyone with your work stress — have
some ice cream. You deserve it. You’ll
eventually eat that entire bag of potato
chips — do it now, and get it over with.
By some estimates, as many as 11 million Americans, women
and
men, have an
eating disorder. But what about the estimated 34 million who engage in disordered
eating — those who use or avoid food for comfort and control, who chronically diet and
compulsively exercise?
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with healthy eating and regular exercise. The problem
is in the motivation that drives our behaviors. When exercise becomes evidence of our
adequacy, there’s a problem. When our pants size summons our sense of security, there’s
a problem. When food stops being a fuel source and becomes proof of our self-worth,
there’s a problem.
It has become easier to identify an eating disorder and intervene when it begins to
wreak havoc on someone’s life. It’s more difficult to identify what we can’t see — thoughts
and feelings behind external behaviors, which may be deeply rooted in our past. They tell
us lies about who we are and why we aren’t good enough. We turn to food or exercise to
quiet them, to find comfort from the pain, or to regain a sense of control.
How can we change our disordered thought patterns before they develop into
something more?
Remember your value and worth are secure in Christ
. This truth offers hope that no
food or gym membership can provide. When we are “enough” in Him, food maintains its
proper place as a source of fuel that God graciously provides.
Enjoy all foods in balance, variety, and moderation
. Dessert isn’t the enemy, and
salad isn’t the Holy Grail. Both can fit well into a balanced diet along with red meat, sweet
potatoes, asparagus, lasagna, carrots, and, yes, even bread. Variety makes our relationship
with food an enriching experience.
Resist the urge to body-bash
. We don’t need to flog ourselves for having a second cookie
or drone on about how “fat” we think we are. Show yourself some kindness and respect,
and seek the Lord’s help in changing the focus of your attention. When you start to hear
the same song play over and over on the radio, you change the channel, right? Do the same
with your thoughts when repetitive, shaming self-talk begins.
Discern false messages and counteract themwith truth
. You, in fact, are not what you
eat, and neither are you what you weigh, your body mass index, or your pants size. Being
alert to messages that spread these lies is a valuable step. Focus on what ultimately defines
you: the grace and truth of the risen Jesus Christ.
Know when to seek professional help
. If the way you think about food, fitness, or your
body dictates the way you think about yourself, your value, or your worth, talk to someone.
By proactively addressing disordered eating or exercise habits, you can enjoy living your
life rather than trying to control it. You can also redirect your worship away from your
dinner plate, the scale, or the treadmill toward the only One who loves you as you are and
holds you securely in His grasp.
Jenny Beck
is a counselor for Cedarville’s Counseling Services. She holds a master’s degree in
clinical counseling fromAshlandTheological Seminary, and she is a member of the International
Association of Eating Disorder Professionals. She provides individual counseling and co-leads
a support group for eating disorders on campus. You may contact her at
Cedarville Magazine
|
23
If You Suspect a
Loved One Has an
Eating Disorder
If you think a loved one has an
eating disorder, the most important
thing you can do is encourage the
person to talk to a counselor. Eating
disorders are complex and deeply
rooted. Professional help is nearly
always needed to overcome them.
When you do share your
concerns with your loved one,
keep these guidelines in mind:
n
Accept that your friend may not
be ready or willing to change now.
n
Show respect and humility by
listening more than talking.
Avoid lecturing.
n
Do not assume you understand
why your friend is struggling or
what he or she needs to get better.
n
Respect your friend’s response
without resorting to begging,
arguing, threatening, or making
assumptions.
n
Plan ahead what you want to say.
Share what you have specifically
observed that led to your concern.
n
Avoid focusing on weight or
appearance, which may unin-
tentionally reinforce unhealthy
behaviors. Instead, focus what you
say on your concerns for his or her
overall health, which includes the
toll the disorder takes emotionally,
mentally, and spiritually.
Counseling Services recommends
these online resources:
Quieting the
Voices
by Jenny Beck
