19 ago—Mart flinches. Don’t worry Mart, I’m not angry at you. No, no. Just the traffic, it’s just the traffic. My hand is still clenched in a fist above the Ford emblem. I stretch out my fingers, my hand shaking as it hovers. Breathe, Shawn. I rest my hand so it’s parallel with the left one. It still shakes. I ignore it. Maybe I’m just cold, it’s gotta be cold in here. I find the climate knob with my twitching right hand and spin it as far into the red as I can. The fans kick on and exhale loudly. So do I. “I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way I—I” “Do not speak to me.” “No, no, no listen Mart.” “Who the hell is Mart?” “That, that’s your name—isn’t it?” Mart shudders. “I said do not speak to me.” Her voice bites. “Honey, I’m sure we can work this out. Listen to me, I’m sorry, I—” I ramble on. “Pull over.” “Mart listen to me,” I plead. “Now.” She grabs the door handle, trying to bust it open. She grunts, slamming her hand against the wall. “The car is moving, the door won’t open.” “Then stop the car.” “No.” You’re never going to make the funeral from here Mart, we’re still 15 miles out. Just calm down Mart, we’re gonna make it. I glance back at the rearview mirror. She heaves, sinking back into her seat defeated. Mart scrunches the sleeves of her dress so they rest on her forearms. She clutches her phone, acrylic nails beating against the screen. They are percussive. Tapping. Constant. I feel her reach her head around my seat, peering at the GPS signal. Only 20 more minutes Mart, you’re okay. You can cry for Patrice later, you’re okay. Continue onto Townline Tunnel Road My hands slip off the steering wheel. I wipe them on my pant leg. I put them back at ten and two. Mart’s hand moves towards the window button, she’s so dainty, so graceful. No, no Mart, you’ ll mess up your hair. I lock the window. Turn Right on to Canal Bank Street Droplets fall from my forehead like straggling drips of fuel from a leaking gas pump. “Can you turn down the heater please,” quivers Mart. All you had to do was ask, Mart, I was doing all this for you. “Sure, sure sure.” I nudge the knob to the left. The heat begins to disperse, the air thins as the cold slices through. Mart sighs. She’s quiet again.
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