The Cedarville Review 2023

21 had a strange hat on, like something you’d see from the 1930’s. It wasn’t quite a fedora, but was definitely unusual. It covered up all but a few wayward wisps of graying hair, and dark blue eyes shone from underneath the brim. He had a mysterious, almost playful half-smirk on his lips that contrasted the seriousness of his words, and something about him suddenly struck me with an overwhelming sense of uneasiness. It could have been my imagination, but I swore I felt the temperature in the room drop. “See, I consider myself a… a dealer, of sorts. In fact, that’s what you can call me,” he mused, meeting my eyes. “I often trade with folks such as yourself. I find a way to give ‘em what they most desire in exchange for what they take for granted the most. You can say it’s a special gift of mine, really.” This turn in conversation threw me for a moment, and I found myself unable to respond as my mind struggled to process what he said. Then it clicked with a sickening realization, and I thought I understood. This man was some kind of seller, and I wasn’t that desperate to turn to his kind of “desires,” whatever those might be. I’d drink my share, sure, but taking drugs would go against everything Ella stood for. No, I would never defile her memory like that. “So tell me, Alex,” he continued quietly before I could give him a piece of my mind, “How would you like to see her again?” My breath caught in my throat and I felt my heartbeat quicken again at his words, despite the absurdity of them. As my anxiety spiked, I realized that this man, this Dealer, wasn’t at all what I thought he was. He wasn’t just insensitive, he was insane. I couldn’t get her back, I knew that much. That realization burned in my chest and made my mind struggle to form its thoughts just as the first time that realization had set in, and I think I knew that long ago. I knew I would never see her again. But before I could answer, before I could tell him what I really thought of him and his intrusive questions, the bartender chimed in. “Hey, Alex, sorry that took a minute. What can I get you, man?”

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