80 81 THE CEDARVILLE REVIEW This morning, I was feeling better when I opened my eyes, and besides, breakfast was homemade French toast with real maple syrup. Mom smiled at me as she poured vanilla flavored creamer into her coffee. I drink my coffee black, just like— Never mind. After we ate, Mom asked me what I wanted to do first. In past years, there were so many options that we packed each day as full as we could get it. Nothing, I wanted to say, but I knew Mom wouldn’t take that for an answer. Then I got an idea. Maybe I could go back to the barn today. “I want to walk by myself,” I told Mom. “Please? You could stay here and bake cookies,” I added. “I would love to do something together,” said Mom. Her eyes were hopeful. “We will,” I said. “Tomorrow. Please?” Mom looked sad when she answered. “Okay, Jake,” she said. So I put on my boots and climbed the snow-covered hill to the stables. Today, Jeremiah was mucking out stables. “Yo, my favorite kid is back,” he grinned when I walked in. “Wanna give me a hand?” he joked, his shovel full of manure. “No, thanks,” I smiled back. My eyes were on the speckled gray mare from yesterday. I crossed the barn to her stable. She blinked those big, brown eyes and turned her huge head toward me. I leaned forward, and she pressed her forehead to mine. She was warm and she smelled like straw. So I did something I thought I would never, ever do. I whispered something, very quietly, to her. I said, “I like your name. My little sister’s name was Lucy.” And she blinked those big eyes again, like maybe she understood. And she was quiet, which was just what I needed. December 24, 5:00pm This morning, as I put five strips of bacon onto my plate, Mom asked me, “Where did you go, on your walk yesterday?” “I went up the hill to the stables,” I told her reluctantly. For some reason, I feel like that should be my place, not ours. “Would you like to take me?” she asked, reading my face. “Or, is there somewhere else you want to go?” I remembered passing the welcome center on my way to the barn yesterday. I told Mom that maybe we could go there. And so we stepped out of the cabin, me and Mom, side by side. At the front desk, Mom bought two cups of hot chocolate, one for me and one for her. Then we took the stairs up to the gift shop. We stayed there for hours, Mom and
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