The Idea of an Essay, Volume 4

2017 Composition Contest Winnners 19 “I know these are your favorite colors,” I explained as she touched the tiny beads that were woven into the bracelet. “I made these so you never forget me. I have one too!” I held up my wrist and showed her the bracelet of the same colors that was tied tight across my wrist. “I’ll never forget you”, she murmured with a serious look in her usually dancing eyes. She hugged me again and whispered, “best friends forever?” I felt a lump in my throat. “Best friends forever,” I replied as a tear rolled down the side of my nose. I shifted on the uncomfortable, springy bus seat, as the memory faded away. One single tear escaped my eye and raced down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away, but one after another the tears rushed from my eyes. The girl in the seat across the aisle fromme whispered to Jana, “she is so weird! She hasn’t said a word since we left the church.” My heart stung like it was pierced with a thousand icy needles. I felt hopeless and frozen in my seat. I had never been able to become friends with girls easily. What was wrong with me? I tugged at the friendship bracelet on my arm. I turned away to face the window. The palm trees were racing by; they were blurry spots of green in my already fuzzy vision from all the tears. I pulled harder at the bracelet on my wrist as the pang of loneliness throbbed in my chest, leaving a slight red mark. I tried to concentrate on the landscape rolling by. All I wanted was to forget the ache; I wanted to be numb. The brightly colored houses made my heart feel light for a few moments. How strange the houses looked near the California beaches: so welcoming, so snug. The passing cars whizzed by, everyone in California seemed to be in a hurry. The pain was back; I missed the quiet, private woods behind my house. I looked down and discovered that I had absentmindedly pulled the friendship bracelet into my skin. Someone please care, can’t you see I’m hurting? My mind screamed. My wrist throbbed and started to bleed slightly. I didn’t care. All I wanted was the friendship I craved. The bitterness welled up inside me like a storm and I pulled so hard on the thin bracelet that it snapped. I clutched the ruined bracelet in my shaking hand so hard my fingers turned white. I tried to control my tears, to calmmy racing heart, and gather my jumbled thoughts. You are bigger than this, I thought. Bitterness won’t do you any good. It was time to let go, to move on through the icy ache in my chest. I was tired of hurting. A voice whispered in the back of my mind, friendship has to start somewhere. I gently traced my finger