The Idea of an Essay, Volume 4

32 The Idea of an Essay: Volume 4 hugs us all slowly, with a face bearing deep understanding of the medical situation, and its gravity. We gather all around as Dad gives us the medical briefing. “They’re going to look at Rebekah’s gut and see how much they think is viable, and what can be saved. If there’s enough there, they think they can save her, but otherwise..” he swallows, “this is probably it.” Our family slowly absorbs this truth over the next few minutes, suddenly realizing just how valuable these moments we have with our family are. We all gather around Rebekah, gazing into her still face, minds flashing back and remembering days when she was still moving, when her face still smiled. My siblings start pouring out apologies to Rebekah in the realization this may be a final moment with her, now deeply remorseful of all the moments we were selfish and put ourselves first. Our hearts break as we leave the room, allowing the surgeons to perform their assessment. We head to the waiting room, and pray earnestly, asking ultimately for God’s glory, thanking Him for the family we have, and begging for His healing touch. Seemingly an eternity later, the doctor comes back from the bedside operation to report. “We can’t make any guarantee, your daughter is in an extremely unstable condition, but we think there is enough viable gut there that we can work with it. It isn’t going to be a quick road to healing, but I think we can get there.” Incredibly thankful, but also exhausted, my siblings and I head to the nearest hotel that evening to sleep. It’s a cool December night and as we go to bed, we realize it’s our eldest sister’s birthday. In two weeks, it’ll be Rebekah’s birthday. We pray she makes it until then, but more than anything else, we pray that God glorifies Himself in all that happens. That is all Rebekah would ever want, and God has brought us to a point where we can truly desire this too. Over the next two days, Rebekah’s health continues to fluctuate, until she unexpectedly has a stroke in her frontal lobe. For several days, our family and prayer network had been praying God would make it clear whether He was calling Rebekah home, or if she still had time to serve on earth. This stroke seemingly provides a clear answer, even if it is one that pains our family deeply. When the MRI results come back, they don’t show any medical cause of a stroke, which leads us to view the stroke as a clear movement of God’s hand.