The Idea of an Essay, Volume 4

34 The Idea of an Essay: Volume 4 If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! Parts of the psalm are comforting, and remind us that we can never be separated from God’s presence. This brings even more comfort, knowing that Rebekah, in the midst of her failing health, even in the midst of a stroke, is not separated from God’s all present, all powerful, and all loving Spirit. For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Other parts of the psalm are nostalgic, sweet, but in a bitter way. It talks of how God intimately formed Rebekah and of how mysterious life is. With such an awesome God, the one who knitted us together, it becomes a challenge to not struggle with why God doesn’t continue to hold her health together. It is clear that He can, for He formed her, but why doesn’t He? in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. The psalm pushes us to realize that even these hard days are not out of God’s control, but have long been in His plan. While to us this time comes completely unexpected, we realize that this comes as no surprise to God, for He is the one who has written this story. lead me in the way everlasting! This ending line perhaps more than anything else is hard for our family. Ultimately, we all want God to lead us to everlasting life, but in this passing moment, our hearts strongly yearn for Rebekah to stay here on earth instead. As our dad reads it, his voice pauses, and he tries to push through without sounding weak, but inwardly we all feel weak. We have hymnals with us, and sing Christmas carols at first, and then hymns. They encourage our hearts with truth. Sometimes we make it through a song with strength, other songs reduce our family to further tears. Our eyes all slowly watch Rebekah’s heart rate begin to fall. It started at 132, but off her medication, her pressures begin failing and her heart rate slowly declines. Eventually, as we end a hymn, our family watches her heart