The Idea of an Essay, Volume 4

58 The Idea of an Essay: Volume 4 officer would cruise on the street where I lived. I’ve never had the experience of mourning a loved one killed by unjust means. Race- related death has never affected me personally, so I don’t have fuel for the thought pattern of seeing black lives in a state of constant mourning. Despite my initial thoughts, Rankine is actually giving the appropriate amount of weight to a subject that I’d previously thought disproportionate. Through the description of African American killings, I was shown that cynicism isn’t what fuels these movements. Unfortunately, many of the despairing feelings African Americans hold are completely realistic. In addition, I was saddened to read of the despair that some African Americans feel. In this article, Rankine talks about how she and her friend feel about their position in America saying, “Ours was the laughter of vulnerability, fear, recognition and absurd stuckness.” Although I don’t feel “stuck” as a biracial American, I was saddened to read that some people live with that constant weight. As far as I know, I’ve never experienced racism so I don’t feel “stuck” in my society. I haven’t been inhibited from attending the University of my choice, receiving equal pay as my Caucasian co-workers, or pursuing happiness because of my race, so I don’t feel limited in my opportunity at success. In my own life, I know several black Americans who are successful in society and I can’t recall any who are burdened by their ethnicity. My father did endure racism in his life, but he was never deterred from his aspirations, and I’ve only ever seen him as successful in every line of work he’s pursued. Though I’m sure his racist encounters greatly affected him, I never witnessed the direct effect they had on him. My aunt, who is also African American, worked at CNN for over thirty years where, from what I could tell, she was well respected and successful. Now that I’ve been exposed to several racist issues Americans face that I wasn’t aware of, I’m more open to asking questions of my family in order to rid myself of other racial blind spots I may have. I was always told, from both sides of my family, that I could do whatever I wanted in life. Although cliché, it’s a thought that doesn’t transcend every culture. Furthermore, as if constantly feeling stuck weren’t bad enough, Rankine also writes about black Americans’ continuous mourning, saying, “For African American families, this living in a state of mourning and fear remains commonplace.” It’s sad for me