Inspire, Summer 2002

Sarah Moseley ’95 N early seven years have passed since I graduated from Cedarville, and it has been almost eight since I have dated anyone. While singleness is not the path that I would have chosen for my life, the Lord in His sovereignty has selected it for me. He has been very gracious in my life, and for the most part, I have been very content in singleness as my marital status. Recently, though, the Lord has been dealing with this “settled” feeling in my heart concerning my singleness. One of my mentors boldly asked me last fall, “Do you think it’s possible that what you think is contentedness in being single is really just your flesh’s counterfeit in a high wall of self- protection?” Since then, I have been pouring over my Bible and devouring many books that concern my intimacy with my Shepherd-Savior Jesus and my Father God. One of the most precious titles for my Lord that I’ve been pondering lately is “Lover of my soul.” How does the fact that our Lord is Lover of our souls change our lives as single Christians? Let me offer three suggestions. First, because God is the Lover of my soul, I can offer Him my time in fellowship. As singles, we should eagerly take advantage of the privilege the Lord has currently given us to be wholly devoted to Him. Perhaps the countless hours we spend sitting in front of the mind-numbing TV each week could be used for something with more eternal significance. Perhaps the Lord would be better honored and more glorified by us using those hours in service to Him—whether that be publicly in our local church or parachurch ministry or privately in our families and workplace. Or perhaps our Father in Heaven desires us to spend those hours in prayer and meditation at His throne of grace. Most of the time when we angrily shout out in our frustration to the Lord and accuse Him of abandoning us, it’s not that God is silent—it’s that we’ve surrounded ourselves with so much noise that we can’t hear Him. He’s always speaking words of peace, comfort, and love to our souls—we need only be still and rest in His quietness long enough to listen. One obvious observation follows: when we’re resting, we’re not doing. I have succumbed to the ever-present temptation to make my job my idol. I think this is especially easy for the single adult; because we don’t have a spouse waiting on us at home, there is often no extrinsic motivation to be good stewards of our time and temple. Many singles are addicted to little gods (work, food, exercise, drugs/alcohol, pornography, sex, TV, incessant social activities) because they are secretly afraid of who or what they would be without trying to fill this nagging emptiness in their soul. Yet the Lover of my soul longs for me to spend time in His presence. I’m not speaking here of only daily devotional time (prayer, Bible study, and meditating on His faithfulness), for I assume that as graduates of Cedarville we’re aware that God’s Word is oxygen to our souls. I am speaking of how Jesus woos me into a closer relationship with Him each time I carve out time from my busy schedule just to be with Him. This takes many different forms for me. Sometimes it’s taking a walk around my office building in the afternoon for my 15-minute break time. Sometimes it’s listening to my favorite praise and worship songs while in the car on my evening commute. Sometimes it’s in turning off the radio and the CD player and just slowly and methodically praying through my day and praising God for all the gifts He’s given. Using my morning drive to Lover of My Soul work as my prayer time has been a highly rewarding decision the Lord has led me to make. I have seen miraculously powerful answers to prayer as a result of this time I spend each day with Him. Second, because God is the Lover of my soul, I can offer Him my heart in relationship. Because our Savior loved us so much to die for us at Calvary, we have only one reasonable response: to live our lives wholly devoted to Him—Christ as our only love, our greatest joy, and utmost pleasure. While we are experiencing this period of single focus before marriage, it should be our life’s goal to delight ourselves fully in God. And whether we get married in just a few short years or wait until Heaven as Christ’s bride, the time in the interim can be some of the most cherished years of our lives, if only we will choose to delight in our Lord. Dear friend, are you aware of the Lover of your soul’s passionate desire to be with you? Dr. Joe Stowell ’66 once said: All through Scripture—Old Testament and New Testament alike—God is pursuing a loving relationship with us. At the very beginning, when He revealed what the relationship would be built on, in Deuteronomy 6, He said “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.” … Think of the metaphor of the church. It is a romantic metaphor. … We are the bride and He is the bridegroom! … What is really convicting to me is that it is possible for me to be busy, busy, busy for Him—doing all the right things—and He never feels loved by me. … Is Jesus the supreme center of all that you do, and do you do what you do because you love Him? That is the driving question of all. 1 Closely related is the third conclusion I draw ... Because the Lord is the Lover of my soul, I can offer Him my expectations and desires for a future mate. Singles (on the average, as compared to their married peers) have significantly more time, more freedom, and more money, and yet many times we are paralyzed by postponing our lives—waiting for a better tomorrow and in the process, missing today. Most of the time, we are plagued by focusing on what we don’t have, rather than on what we DO have by God’s grace. Satan loves to keep our eyes on ourselves—on our loneliness and/or aloneness, on our pain (emotional, physical, and psychological), and on our unmet expectations and desires. I believe unrealized expectations and shattered dreams are at the core of many of our hearts’ pain. Yet, we have a place—rather, a Person—to whom we can take all our desires and expectations. All throughout His Word the Lord shows us examples of those whom He rewards that earnestly and passionately seek Him. Psalm 37:3a, 4-5 reminds us to “Trust in the Lord, and do good … Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.” Like a dying man panting for lack of water, I should be that obsessed with seeking my Lord’s face. As oxygen is to my lungs, so God is to my soul. This has been a point of major conviction in my life recently. Do I seek the face of my Lord as much (yes, even more!) as I seek a lasting, loving relationship with a husband? Though you may be disappointed as you stand in your time of waiting, remember that God can change your disappointments into His appointments. Don’t be lulled into inactivity and insensitivity. As important as it is to wait appropriately, it is just as important not to be always waiting for something. … There comes a time when we must be sure we are not living in yesterday, for it is gone—nor in tomorrow, for it may never come. In reality, we find ourselves living “in the meantime.” We must honestly evaluate where we are in the present. 2 Living in the realization that God is the Lover of my soul enables me to offer Him in response gifts of my time in fellowship, my heart in relationship, and my desires and expectations for the future. My prayer for myself as well as you, my fellow single Cedarville alumni, is this: that we will utilize this gift the Lord has given us in our singleness. May we share the joy freely with all those in our personal sphere of influence, the joy that can only come from living with a God who is truly the Lover of our souls. 1 Joseph M. Stowell, How to Make Your “First Love” an “Always Love,” originally given as a lecture at Dallas Theological Seminary Chafer Chapel in October 2000; reprinted in Veritas , Vol. 1, No. 2, (October 2001): 2-3. 2 Bob Reccord, Forged by Fire: How God Shapes Those He Loves (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2000), 138. Originally from Lima, Ohio, Sarah Moseley ’95 graduated from Cedarville with degrees in music education and performance. She is currently a student at Dallas Theological Seminary, where she is pursuing a degree in Christian education with an emphasis in women’s ministries. Sarah is a member of First Baptist Dallas and enjoys playing in the orchestra as well as being involved with the singles ministry. As singles, we should eagerly take advantage of the privilege the Lord has currently given us to be wholly devoted to Him. All through Scripture—Old Testament and New Testament alike—God is pursuing a loving relationship with us. Inspire 25 24 Summer 2002