Inspire, Summer 2003

Inspire 23 Even with her education and life experience, Karen, like any special needs parent, often yearns for support. That need is primarily met through her church as many people have faithfully prayed while others have volunteered to watch Will and Karen’s two younger sons whenever she and her husband Dave need a break. Karen remarked, “One family found a way to encourage us by giving us canned green beans and frozen sweet corn (Will’s favorites) because they realize I don’t have time to grow a garden. This may sound like a trivial thing to do, but each time I serve those vegetables, it ministers to my heart and at times brings tears to my eyes.” She has also found support in her former roommate. “Dana and I have remained good friends since our time at college, and her support and encouragement through Will’s autism have drawn us even closer,” Karen acknowledges. “I can call her anytime with things that are heavy on my heart, and she shares in my sorrows and in my joys and lovingly reminds me of God’s truths.” Karen realizes that she is blessed to have supportive friends since many people don’t understand autism and what a parent or caregiver experiences. Consequently sometimes people can unintentionally be insensitive. “They think it is just a type of personality. People think that just because someone doesn’t have an obvious exterior physical abnormality that everything must be fine on the inside. Autistic people are usually gifted in a certain area, so this all the more makes people think there is nothing wrong,” Karen explained. There are times when Karen is so overwhelmed with the challenges of raising an autistic child that she admits that she goes numb and emotionally shuts down. She expressed, “At that point, all I can do is to flee to Christ for comfort and strength. Even though I may feel like He is the one responsible for giving me this bitter cup, I beg Him to give me a larger measure of faith to trust Him more in this area.” Still, Karen maintains that God has uniquely prepared her for having a special needs child. “I see families struggling with their special needs child just as I struggled with Brian,” she said. “How I want to share with them what I learned in the 28 years of being with Brian and to encourage them to get past the shock, grief, denial, embarrassment, and the blaming and instead simply love their child and consider him or her a blessing.” She confesses that there are times when she struggles with the idea of having an autistic son. She noted, “I am not immune to the natural feeling a parent with a special child would have. It’s just that God in His mercy has equipped me to handle the unique trials of having a special needs child.” To read more alumni stories of children with autism, visit www.cedarville.edu/alumni .