Inspire, Summer 2003

Inspire 27 Cynthia Bullock shares how she and her husband have seen God’s divine guidance and plan in the circumstances surrounding their hearing-impaired children. I t was a beautiful day in autumn. I could feel the heat of the sun on my face, but I was shaking with chill. My husband, Tim, and I had staggered out of the audiologist’s office with the devastating information that our bubbly, vivacious little 18-month-old daughter, Josalyn, was profoundly deaf. I turned to my husband before bursting into tears and cried, “She doesn’t even know me as Mommy! She thinks I’m just that lady who slaps her hand for no reason!” As Tim held me in the parking lot that morning while I wept, I wondered how God could possibly be in control of this catastrophe! We could not see how securely He was holding us in the palm of His hand. Later, as I looked back, I could see that God was in complete control and had already been preparing the way! When Josalyn was only three months old, Tim took a graduate course in special needs children. He was in the process of getting his master’s degree in math education, and the special needs course was the only course available that would fit into his schedule. For a required research paper on learning style for different impairments, Tim chose hearing impairment (deafness). This early research provided us a unique understanding of the controversy between auditory oral education and total communication education more than a year before we knew about Josalyn’s deafness. Tim’s research enabled us to choose a method quickly without a lot of confusion. We chose the auditory oral program, or in other words, we wanted our child to talk. Besides the research that Tim did, God had placed us in a county in Michigan which has a nationally recognized oral program. Josalyn was enrolled at 19 months. The amount of work was tremendous. Not only did we need to teach Josalyn to recognize sounds, but also every word! She went to school every day and the number of doctor appointments was staggering (about 48 during the worst year). I just thanked God for our daughter Kayla’s hearing (Kayla is 15 months younger than her sister). I did not know what I would do if I had two hearing-impaired children. When Josalyn was 21 months, I found that I was expecting number three. We were elated. We had wanted all of our children close in age. During this time, we went for a second opinion on the cause of Josalyn’s deafness. I felt the chill as the doctor said that it was Mondini malformation, which is a genetic disorder that causes the cochlea to be malformed. The doctor explained that each of our children would have a one in four chance of being deaf. Intuitively, I knew that my unborn child would be hearing-impaired, and indeed, Lindsay was born deaf. The thought of double doses of speech therapy, schooling, and doctor’s appointments terrified me. I later understood that God had allowed Josalyn to be misdiagnosed so that our third daughter Lindsay would be born. To make matters worst, Lindsay’s deafness was more profound than Josalyn’s deafness. Because Lindsay could hear nothing, she had no concept of sound. While we were experiencing these frustrations with Lindsay, Josalyn started to lose what little hearing she had. Hearing aids were no longer working. Still, God was there! He was teaching us to trust Him in a way that we had never had to trust Him before. After having lived my whole life surrounded by Christians, I was suddenly surrounded by unbelievers: teachers, speech therapists, audiologists, doctors, and nurses. I shared the gospel with more people in the first year of this trial than previously in my whole life. As Josalyn turned three, I found I was expecting again. My first thought was that surely God would not do it again! Surely this baby would have normal hearing. Wrong! Drew was also born with a profound hearing impairment. Additionally, when Drew was two months old, Josalyn lost all of the rest of her hearing. It was time to investigate cochlear implants. We were terrified, but God had made it very clear that this was the direction that He wanted us to pursue. Josalyn made huge gains in her speech and language abilities after the implant. We were so impressed with how well she did that we sought an implant for Lindsay at the first available time. She received hers shortly after her second birthday. Lindsay, at the time of her surgery, was not even able to say “Mommy” and never answered to her name. Within six months of the surgery, she was not only answering to her name but was able to sing all the way through “Jesus Loves Me.” Drew was implanted at 18 months. By kindergarten, all three of our deaf children were able to mainstream into a regular classroom setting. God knows what He is doing. Many times I wondered why God would give us three hearing-impaired children! I’m sure he had many reasons, but one that we see so clearly is our ability to help the hurting parents of newly identified deaf children. Most parents do not want to share with a stranger about their children’s problems until they learn that I have three hearing- impaired children. Then they flood me with questions. God has always given me opportunities to bring these conversations around to the promise of the gospel. Doctors and audiologists have referred many parents to us, and we have invited these parents into our home so they may see how well our children are doing and find hope for their own children. Something as simple as Josalyn praying for the meal can cause a mother to burst into tears of hope and a father to say, “We are getting an implant!” Many people are overwhelmed by the reality of three hearing-impaired children, but God has used this trial to bring us much closer to Him. He has turned our sorrow into joy! We thank God that He has given our family a course that would refine us and use us for His glory. Turning Sorrow to Joy T i m B u l l o c k ’ 8 4