Inspire, Summer 2003

28 Summer 2003 A seemingly normal pregnancy was turned upside down one day for Dana Gosser Kulke ’94. Here is her story in her own words. L ike many women, I worried about the health of my baby during my pregnancy, but never expected my child might be one of the few with health problems. My fears were realized when I had my 20-week ultrasound. We were thrilled to learn our baby was a girl, and we had already chosen her name to be Hannah Noelle. Our joy quickly turned to anxiety as the ultrasound tech pointed out a mass on Hannah’s neck that was abnormal both in size and location. I quickly tried to rationalize away any serious problems. I shed no tears until the ultrasound tech hugged me and told me she was sorry. At that point I knew there was a serious problem. The doctor explained that often times these abnormalities are associated with genetic disorders and heart defects. The mass would be difficult to deal with because of the location, and it would require several surgeries to remove. She recommended we run tests to determine if the baby had genetic abnormalities. She said we should think about what risks I would take to save a baby that may not be "compatible with life." Would I consider the risk of a C-section because this baby may not even live? There was also the option of terminating the pregnancy. My head was spinning. We immediately insisted that abortion was not an option, but our doctor encouraged us to give it some thought. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would have to take such a stand for the life of my unborn baby. We told the doctor that we would trust God to take care of our baby in the way He saw fit. When Alan and I came home from that appointment, we could not stop crying. How could this be happening to us? Why would God allow it? By the end of that day we were exhausted, both emotionally and physically. Our family, friends, and church began praying immediately for baby Hannah. We knew our first prayer request had been answered when we met Dr. Belady. She was kind and compassionate, and she valued the life of our unborn child. After looking at Hannah on ultrasound, Dr. Belady guessed that Hannah’s problem was a cystic hygroma. Cystic hygromas are fluid-filled cysts. Although the cysts are benign, they can cause problems because of their location. They also can be an indication of chromosomal abnormalities. To investigate the possibility of heart defects and airway obstruction, a fetal echocardiogram was performed, and it appeared that Hannah’s heart was normal. The results of the fetal MRI were also positive. This was such an answer to prayer! Our friends and family had been praying specifically for these two things, and it was awesome to share that with the doctors. We began going for ultrasounds every two weeks. Hannah was growing and I was definitely growing! At 26 weeks, I began having contractions, and they were coming every five minutes. I was hospitalized because the contractions would not stop. Again our friends and family began to pray, and after twelve days in the hospital, I was able to go home on strict bed-rest. A date was scheduled for our C-section. On June 4, 2002, I would be just over 37 weeks. We kept praying we would make it to that date. The contractions continued, and on May 15, Dr. Belady decided it would be best if I stayed in the hospital until baby Hannah arrived. Our Little Blessing D a n a G o s s e r K u l k e ’ 9 4 During the hospital stays and bed-rest, the Lord gave us a “peace that passes all understanding.” We received encouragement from so many people. I still cannot explain the strength that both Alan and I felt during this time. It was a great experience to see the Lord work in our lives in such a great way. Finally, June 4 arrived! We were excited, yet a little nervous. We had had so much faith during the pregnancy, but now we wondered about our little girl. Would she be healthy? There was still the unknown about her chromosomes. We didn’t know if she would live through the delivery. Ironically, we received an odd reassurance. At 6:30 a.m., just an hour and a half before surgery, my water broke! We know that it was the prayer of God’s people that allowed us to wait until our delivery date. We delivered at Riley Children’s Hospital, where deliveries are only done two to three times per year. There were an overwhelming number of physicians and specialists there waiting for Hannah. The plan was to intubate her (put a tube down her throat to ensure a temporary airway) before she was completely born. It was a miracle! In just 22 minutes, little Hannah was born. Everything went just as planned. While I was still under the effects of the general anesthesia, Alan was told that the physicians would need to perform a tracheostomy because it appeared that the cyst was partially covering Hannah’s airway. During our five-week stay in the NICU, Hannah had surgery to remove a portion of the cyst. We learned that removing the entire cyst would not be as easy as we originally hoped. Hannah’s cyst was micro-cystic. This meant that she had a large number of cysts, each smaller than a centimeter, and it would be nearly impossible to attempt any treatments currently approved and available. Although surgery is an option, it is extremely risky because of the danger of damaging her tiny facial nerves. The doctors recommended that we wait and allow Hannah to grow before attempting any further surgery. Hannah is now nine months old. I will not lie and say that we never have any struggles. It is difficult wondering, “Will it ever be possible to have the cysts removed?” “Will children say mean things to her?” And although we had originally hoped that her tracheostomy would be removed by her first birthday, we now realize that will not be possible. In fact, we are not sure if that will ever be possible. This is not the road we would have chosen, but we have been so blessed. We have learned the importance of thankfulness. We could dwell on Hannah’s medical problems and allow it to discourage us, but we decided early on in our pregnancy that we would choose to be thankful for the blessings. There are always blessings. There are still times I begin crying when holding Hannah. Sometimes I feel sorry for myself because of the things I have had to give up. Unlike other moms, I cannot leave Hannah with just any babysitter. It is also more challenging to go to the store, out to lunch, or on a play date. And there is the thought of Hannah having to deal with this for the rest of her life. But usually in the middle of my tears, she will look at me and smile the happiest little smile, and I am reminded of the blessing that I have in this precious little life. God has taken care of us to this point, and I know He will continue to “finish this good work that He has begun.”