Inspire, Summer 2006

16 Summer 2006 “Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.” —Jose Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955) I am discovering that balance is a topic on which I may never be able to lead a seminar. It is one of those issues in life that must be continually in the forefront of my mind to ensure that I lead a stable, fulfilled existence. While in college, my efforts to achieve balance seemed to be directly connected to my ability to keep and organize my planner on a daily basis. I thought that by attending classes, fulfilling my extracurricular commitments, attending church, and completing assignments, I was essentially becoming a better student and, more importantly, a better Christian. Little did I realize that my being organized did not automatically signify that I led the life of a well-balanced individual. After the diplomas were given, the final goodbyes were spoken, and my few possessions were neatly packed away, I was forced to deal with reality. I had to truly evaluate my life for what it was. Without the hectic day-to-day demands of college, the treacherous truths relating to my lack of balance began to surface. I was not the stable person that I had imagined myself to be. I found the adjustment process to be quite challenging and discovered that my inability to maintain balance further complicated my life. Instead of frantically running from one commitment to the next, I was now devoted to a traditional eight-hour job which left me with ample time to reflect on my needs and responsibilities. My priorities had shifted drastically from making the grades in the classroom to making the cut in the office. I no longer had the privilege of having many of my friends centrally located and available when I needed a social fix. I had myself, my car, my job, and my apprehensive co-workers who constantly reminded me that I was new to the “working world.” It was during this transition that I began to grasp a more concrete understanding of what it means to find balance. The excitement of college life left my schedule jam-packed with activity. My eagerness to get the full college experience allowed me little time for self-rejuvenation. Between my commitments to classes, meetings, homework, a job, and church, I rarely had the opportunity to simply be. I enthusiastically looked forward to life after graduation because I knew that things would not be as demanding. I would have more control over the way that I spent my day, and I anticipated having more time to do the things that I truly desired to do. I thought that I possessed this phenomenon called balance, but I quickly discovered that my interpretation of what it meant to be balanced was completely unrelated to the true definition of balance. For me, at that time in my life, balance meant organization. It meant that as long as I accomplished all my tasks for that day, then I could end the day satisfied. I mentally correlated my ability to complete tasks with distinct levels on the balance scale. If I was able to submit homework on time, tend to my resident responsibilities, meet friends for dinner, study for an upcoming test, and read my Bible, then, in my mind, I had become the essence of what I thought balance to be. I must say that this past year has been a non-stop learning adventure. I have come to realize that I had absolutely no clue what true balance was. I had become so accustomed to my hectic schedule in college that I found myself struggling to find meaningful activity to participate in during my transition to a full-time job and a new city. Initially, I did not know what it meant to be still. I did not understand the value of being left alone with my thoughts. Naturally, I knew very few people in this new city, and for the first time in my life, it was literally just me and God. I had the tremendous opportunity to get to know God as my friend, not just the Divine Being to whom I periodically prayed. I was able to discover myself. I asked myself, “What are the most important things in my life? What is it that keeps me ticking and brings comfort and joy to the numerous mundane responsibilities that are a daily part of life?” These questions were not easy for me to answer, because I had always been the type of individual who had done what was expected of me. Those expectations kept me so preoccupied that I rarely got the opportunity to fully enjoy the many moments that life hands our way. The excitement of a new beginning with new opportunities had my heart racing and my thoughts steadily moving, calculating my next step. What would I do with my newfound free time? How would I spend my days? I could catch up on my reading. I could discover new hobbies and explore the city. I could volunteer my time and resources to bettering the community. The list could go on and on. There were so many possibilities … so many options. by Lydia Baker ’05 Can You Find Balance?