Inspire, Winter 2004

Inspire 21 Our children were included in Dad’s recovery effort. My son is autistic, and so he verbally obsesses on things. With Dad’s impaired state, Addison had an audience in someone who never tired of his monologues or demanded he stop. He enjoyed reading to his grandfather, which helped take care of some of his home education while also benefiting Dad. Much of Addison’s school year was spent “learning” in a nursing home. My daughter, Jenna, did her part by singing preschool songs and using toys to stimulate Dad’s senses. Several weeks later, Daddy woke up. What an exciting time! Daily we witnessed miracles. It was amazing! Dad, who was called a “vegetable” and given little hope, was now talking and learning. Sometimes the things he said or did were bizarre, but miraculous all the same. Since he had been last conscious in Arizona, it took him a long time to believe that he was in Ohio. He constantly argued his whereabouts with us. That was tragically comical. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted (Job 9:10). As Dad’s alertness increased, our goal shifted to qualifying him for a rehabilitation facility. This was an incredible task. Even though Dad was frequently tired and in pain, we had to make him work and improve. When I was a child, Daddy often criticized me for being strong-willed, but now my tenaciousness was to his benefit. I knew Daddy could beat the odds, and I was determined to help him. I couldn’t let fear or doubts stand in the way — even if it pained me to see him struggle. I did extensive research on TBI and geriatric issues. I also contacted a Cedarville nursing professor who was a TBI survivor for advice. Dr. Lois Baker provided me with valuable insights and recruited a nursing student to help us. Twice a week Sarah Ross ’02 would visit Dad. She tended to his physical and spiritual needs and helped him re-learn basic life skills. While volunteering with Dad, Sarah decided to pursue trauma/rehab nursing. She became the inspiration for the James A. Smith Elderly Compassion Memorial Scholarship, which we endowed in Dad’s honor to assist students who minister to the elderly. Five months after the accident, Daddy was accepted into a rehab program. It was like boot camp with therapists constantly working with him on speech, mobility, eating, and self-care skills. When we were told that he might recover enough to move home and receive outpatient therapy, we decided to sell our house and find a home that was more accommodating of Dad. Sadly, Daddy didn’t progress in rehab to the extent that he needed, and he was returned to a nursing home. That was a difficult blow for all of us. Though his speech and cognition had improved, he was still paralyzed, incontinent, visually impaired, and occasionally dependent on a feeding tube. Having to send him back to a nursing home was painful. I cried as I wrestled with that decision, and I questioned if that was honoring him, but I knew that we had no choice. Dad was understanding, but struggled with it as well. Depression was a problem for Dad, and so we hired Deborah Holt ’87 to work with him. She is a counselor with a nursing background. Besides helping Dad emotionally, she eased our load by taking over as care coordinator. Debbie shared our passion to improve Dad’s quality of life and found additional therapists to work with him. More importantly, she assisted in communicating with doctors who respond favorably to professionals. That made a huge difference in the care Dad received. Debbie’s help was an extra blessing as my load was getting even heavier — literally. I was now (unexpectedly) pregnant! We were shocked and overwhelmed. Knowing that Dad and our second daughter would never really know each other, we decided to let him name her. He insisted that she be named after Debbie. It has been a joy watching Devra bond with her namesake — a living reminder of the way Daddy admired Debbie. For the kids’ benefit, and Dad’s as well, we often brought Dad to our house to visit and eat with us. His swallowing ability was limited to softened foods, and so I had to experiment with finding dishes that could be pureed and still appetizing. (I learned that spaghetti does not puree well, but thankfully Kentucky Fried Chicken does!) With a little creativity, Daddy was able to enjoy some of his favorite foods with his family. Cessna helps her dad with a meal. Debbie Holt ’87 with her namesake, Devra Parenting parents and being a parent meant that we had to multi-task, set boundaries, and find balance in our upside-down world.