Inspire, Winter 2006

get a sense of peace,and so I argued with our insurance company,unsuccessfully.The only way for in-network coverage was for Roman to have the transplant in Omaha. Our feelings were confirmed when,a few days after we returned homefrom Omaha,Roman spiked a high fever and had to be rushed to the emergency room.The doctors in Omaha advised that they did not want to even consult in Roman's pre-transplant care,because they were not officially his physicians until after the transplant. This was not good. Now we had no official doctor.We spent the next week fighting with our insurance company,talking to the doctor in St. Louis,and praying for divine intervention.And then the unexpected happened. The St.Louis facility,the Barnes-Jewish St. Louis Children's Hospital,agreed to list Roman on their transplant list. Even though our insurance would not cover the transplant "in-network,"the hospital offered to absorb any additional expenses.Along with being on a donor list, we had discussed the possibility ofa living donation,specifically taking part of my liver and transplanting it in Roman.After that discussion, the doctor assessed me to determine if my liver would be a match for Roman.By God's grace,my liver was compatible with his,so living donation was a very good option. Our doctor wanted to use the living donation only as a secondary option,and so in the interim we continued to keep Roman on the donor list. But as Roman's liver continued to deteriorate and hospital trips became more frequent,we were scheduled for transplant surgery on August 16,2004. The decision was announced on short notice and much had to be done beforehand.We had one week to return to St. Louis and prepare for a minimum two- month stay — if all went exactly as planned. God was faithful. He continued to work out even the extraneous details. Being self-employed and having to close mylaw practice for two months was not ideal,and with two other children in school, we had to rely heavily on family and friends.With all the details sufficiently resolved, Michelle August 15,2004 was the longest day ofmy life. Holding Roman all day and kissing him goodbye before checking into an adjoining adult hospital that evening was the hardest thing I have ever done,before or since.A large group offamily and friends,including our pastor,came to pray over us before the surgery,and in that moment,God's peace was definitely present. The next morning,Roman and I underwent surgery. Mine lasted four hours and Roman's took about seven.Two months later we returned home and finished the recovery process. Roman's liver soon began growing normally,and mine regenerated back to its regular size. With the successful transplant,Roman no longer has A1AD; however,he has had some post-transplant complications. Though mostly routine,the complications have required multiple hospital stays and several more surgeries. There is no reason to believe Roman will notlive a normal,healthy life. Knowing that my liver is a part ofmyson is indescribable. The decision to donate was never questioned.I wanted it to be mine.I was tired offeeling helpless,tired ofholding my son down during ultrasounds,shots,exams,being poked and prodded while screaming,"Daddy,no!Daddy,help!"I was ready to do anything to help him.Thejoy that comes with being able to help in a seemingly helpless situation is a gift from God.And through His mercy and provision Roman and I are bonded in an amazing way. It is hard to convey how our faith was tested during this time.I would love to tell you that we never doubted God,that I never asked,"Why Roman?", but to claim that would simply not be true.During those periods as I waited on God,I spent much time in prayer,reading the Bible, and listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's"My Redeemer is Faithful and True:'I am thankful that those periods never lasted long and that in my wavering, God remained faithful. and I temporarily relocated to St. Louis,without our older sons.We were able to rent an apartment through a local Ronald McDonald House that was close to the hospital and was exactly what we needed. Steven '93 and Michelle Holden live in Edmond,Oklahoma with their three sons:Hunter(14), Troop(7),and Roman (5). Steven is ageneralpractice attorney, while Michelle is a busystay-at-home mom.To learn more aboutRoman'sRoad and updates on his progress, visit his Web site at www.caringbridge.org/visit/romanholden . Inspire 25