Torch, Fall 1982

This is an area where I am constantly struggling. Yet I see this struggle as a good thing. It keeps me open to new ideas. It keeps me growing as a person. TORCH: Family orderliness is fundamental to building a Godly home. How do you find time to teach orderliness to your children? MSW: We have found example to be the basis of teaching in the family, so my own consistency is important. God Himself is orderly. We see it in creation, in His treatment of people, and in His plans for history. So, becoming orderly is part of becoming God-like. Very early our children have found that being orderly feels good, too. Even the toddlers can learn to hang up their pajamas and pick up their toys . The older girls have short term goals like straightening their closets and drawers every Saturday, and the two oldest ones are beginning to use notebooks to plan their time and responsibilities. TORCH: How do you organize for the Sunday morning scramble to church? MSW: Very carefully! It is potentially the most hectic time of the week for us, so we do everything possible on Saturday. The children put out all their clothes, shoes, ribbons, Bibles, and Sunday School lessons. Verses are checked and food is prepared. We do not try to eat breakfast together. I lay out a very simple meal - the same every week - and they all eat it as they get ready. Keeping stress out of Sunday mornings is one of our biggest projects. TORCH: Do you and your husband schedule time to be together? MSW: Bill comes home for lunch nearly every day, so I feed the little ones early and we have some time alone for planning and evaluating and for adult conversation. This time is im– portant to me because one of the most im- portant thing that Bill brings to our 13 marriage is a sense of proportion and an ability to help me put things in proper perspective. TORCH: What do you see as the most important thing a husband can do to help his wife manage her time? MSW: If Bill could do only one thing, I would ask him to pray for me. He knows me so well and knows what areas of strength God needs to sharpen and what weaknesses God needs to strengthen. Sometimes when I've had a "bad" day, I teasingly accuse him of not praying for me! I've appreciated, too, a husband who is willing to help with the dishes and diapering when, in spite of attempts at good management, things get out of hand. Recently, when discussing the death of a friend who left a large family, one of our girls observed, "If our daddy died, we'd have to get a maid!" I think that it is a real compliment to a father who's not above being part of the solution. TORCH: How do you find time to meet the emotional needs of each of your children? MSW: First, I must come to my children as a whole person. This gets back to my study of the Word on a regular basis, having my own emotional needs met by God so that I am not depending on Bill and the children to meet my needs. Then, I must plan to spend the time necessary to get to know each of them and their needs. Years ago Bill and I made a commitment to God to do whatever was necessary to rear Godly, creative, and useful children. In order to fulfill this commitment we have both had to be willing to put aside, on a temporary basis, some personal interests and pleasures. After the children are grown, we'll have lots of time to read and travel. And we'll enjoy it more because we'll know we made eternal investments in the children's 1 ives. So now I read instead of having a spotless house. I have learned to put away all my work and projects at 3 p.m. so that I am free to talk to the children about school, to find out where they feel they've succeeded or failed, and to compliment or encourage. Being free to meet the emotional needs of my family means planning stress out of my life. It means things like planning to have the Christmas shop– ping finished