Torch, Fall 1986

Caregiving at Home 12 by Audrey Bergen I am glad that my husband and I could care for his mother during the last three years of her life . She was 79 when she joined our household and had suffered a stroke that made it unwise for her to continue living alone. My purpose in relating our experience is to encourage those who might find themselves in similar circumstances or those who might be wondering if the Lord would have them take on a care-giving ministry . How thankful I am to the Lord that our first year together was one of good transition . Morn could manage fairly well with caring for her own needs . She liked to help around the house , and we saved the daily tasks that she was able to handle for her to do . One of her first desires was to become a member of our local church. This was a very important step in feeling that she truly belonged and that she was not only a part of our family, but also a part of the community. She actively participated in Women 's Missionary Union and the weekly Ladies ' Bible Class , and she enjoyed being part of the Young at Heart group . She also was able to get around our small . college town fairly well by herself. This first year was important for us , too . We were able to learn her preferences in food and the kinds of things that she enjoyed doing . Later, when she was no longer able to communicate , we were able to continue to please her. During our second year together, Mom needed more and more help in many areas of her life . She needed assistance in personal care , dressing , and eating . As each new problem arose , the Lord gave us wisdom to know the best way to meet the challenge It soon became evident that a wheelchair was necessary My husband constructed the needed ranips to the family room and to the outside . Instead of dwelling on the fact of needing a wheelchair, we emphasized the advantages of " having your own taxi. ·· When my husband's classes were over for the day, he made sure that Mom had her afternoon walk around campus. He would take a book to read or papers to grade , and they would spend time together near the college lake , where she could watch the ducks and see the students going back and forth to their dorms. By the third year Mom was communicating less and less - and then , not at all. Again we found new challenges and again the Lord provided added strength. At this time we needed to make the extra effort to include her in our conversation, and to tell her of the day ' s events even if she couldn ' t respond verbally. When it became necessary to use baby food , I made sure that the jars never left the kitchen . [nstead , I purchased a cut glass relish dish with three sections. She always appreciated pretty things and, hopefully, a pretty dish helped to make mealtime a bit more interesting . Bible tapes were another blessing from the Lord . Morn could no longer read, and [ was spending more and more hours in caring for her. Listening to God's Word in the mornings as [got her ready for the day , or at night as I got her into bed gave both of us needed spiritual nourishment. The hardest time for me was the two weeks before the Lord took her home to be with Him . As long as there was something I could do , I was glad to do it. But now she could no longer swallow and was taking only liquids by tube. I was very much aware of how helpless [was to help her. That final morning we sat by her side, held her hand , and prayed for a gentle passing to her Heavenly home . Not everyone can care for an aging loved one. But as I look back over these experiences , now two years in the past. it is with thankfulness . I am aware of how much Mom added to our lives. Audrey Bergen serve' a' textbook manager in the Cedarville College Book>tore.