Torch, Fall 1991

r I blank stares. This little fellow was used to creative play and had a great imagination! Some say that play is the window into the child's world. Watch him play and you will learn how he feels about things, how he handles stress, how he solves his problems, and how he interacts in relation– ships. One of preschoolers' favo1ite activities is to play teacher or mommy. Sometimes, much to our embairnssment, we heai· them mimicking us, using some ve1y familiar sayings complete with voice tones and facial fearures . "I don't want to heai· another word! " I hear my daughter scold. "Dear me! " I think, "She's awfully strict For a playful three-year old!" She rolls her big eyes heavenwai·d And sighs with great disdain. "What am I going to do with you?" Her dolls hear her complain. "Sit down! Be still! Hold out your hands! Do you have to walk so slow? Pick up yow- toys! Go brush your teeth! Eat all your cairnts! Blow! " I start to tell her how gentle A mother ought to be When blushingly, I realize She's imitating ME! "Recognition" by Barbara Burrow Copyright ©1967 Hallmark Cards, Inc. Used by pe1mission. Our children will by nature be a reflection of ourselves. They may also reflect our attirudes. Children can tell if there is criticism, impatience, or negativism in our attirude. It is not surprising that our child's irritability is an extension ofour own bad day or he is so "wound up" just when we ai·e the busiest. What Preschoolers Should Learn So it is important that we be aware of what we are teaching our children. A child needs to know some simple things before he can relate to more difficult concepts. These precepts become a foundation upon which all the concepts the child leains about God can be built. First, she needs to leain that she is loved, that she is special to God and of wo1th. In my years of teaching, I have obse1ved this ve1y basic need often missing in a child's life, laying the groundwork for insecurity. Second, a child must leain to trust and to distinguish between adults who care and those who do not. Third, a child must learn there are choices in life and consequences for those choices. If he touches a hot stove or defies the law of gravity, he will suffer the consequences. Concepts more difficult for preschoolers to grasp are obedience, being thankful, and caring for others. A good way to teach obedience is by focusing on the choices available to the child. As a child nears school age, she develops the capability to understand more fully the consequences of her actions. A mother may say to her child, "You need to clean up your room before lunch. If you do, you can go out and play. If you choose not to do it, you will have to stay inside and clean up after lunch. You decide." The consequences should be appropriate, and mom must be consistent in enforcing them. If the child decided not to obey, she might say, "I really wish you had cleaned your room, because I know you would have liked to go out and play. But you chose not to, so now you have to stay in." Some children will test the limits, but leaining obedience at an early age is impo1tant. I have a son who is now 6 feet 5 inches tall; my husband and I are glad he leai11ed to choose obedience when he was small! It is one thing to say,"Thank you," but another to feel thankful. How does a person lean1 to feel thankful? Generally, thankfulness comes from experiencing the lack of something so that one experiences true thankfulness when it is given. However, most young children have not experienced much, if any, loss. Eve1ything they have needed has been provided for them without their even asking for it. But through our example and teaching, we can help children begin to learn to be thankful. They catch our enthusiasm and sense our appreciation and thankfulness. I once heard the wife of a pastor tell how she handled siruations at home when daddy was called away for emergencies at inconvenient times. Instead of complaining to her children that "these inconsiderate people were always bothering and intenupting their fainily times," she said instead, "My, ai·en't we thankful that so many people trust and listen to daddy and that he has so many oppo1tunities to help people? We are very thankful to have such a special daddy! " We cai1 make a habit of involving preschoolers in recognizing the blessings of the mundane activities of life. Another difficult concept for children to leain is caring for one another. Selfishness, especially at this age, is a very no1mal character– istic. Once again, we can verbalize the idea of shming and caring. We may have to tell a two-yeai·-old repeatedly to share toys with his friends. But actually helping children to see and understand the needs of others is more difficult. One of the best ways preschool children can lemn to do this is by truly helping others. We can provide opportunities in which they can experience the joy of helping and making someone else feel special. If we are sensitive, we can fmd many oppo1tunities to help in our neighborhoods, churches and fainilies. Where Preschoolers Learn Scriprure affinns that the home is basic in child education. In Deuteronomy 4:9, God tells us through Moses, "Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things which your eyes have seen and they depmt from your heait all the days of your life; but make them known to yow· sons and your son's sons." This idea is repeated in Deuteronomy 6:7 and in other passages throughout God's Word. These verses in Sc1ipture show the importance of fathers, mothers, and grandparents being the main teachers of God's truth. The church is also necessmy, especially in today 's society of many single-pai·ent families. Children need to know that both men and women believe God's truth. How a child views God depends some– what on his view of his eaithly father. Many children live in homes in which the father is absent. We need godly men to step in and fill tlrnt role by helping preschoolers in their church. At times we as parents need to secure the services of others to help care for our children. Whether choosing friends, neighbors, or a day– cai·e siruation, we ai·e wise in selecting care givers who share our convictions. Yes, preschool children m·e ever-learning. A whole new world awaits their exploration. There are new skills to learn and unlimited abilities to develop. Daily they discover new wonders of narure to exan1ine, new games to play, and new lessons to lem11. However, they do not learn alone. Throughout their lifetime, someone must explain, someone must explore with them, someone must teach, and someone must encow·age them. God help us to be parents and teachers who faithfully fulfill this tremendous challenge. Grace Jackson is a pastor's wife and mother of two teenage children. She has taught for 20 years in public and Christian schools and in church settings.