Torch, Fall 1993

old fogies. I remember running with them to catch cable cars in San Francisco and their arranging a fishing excursion for the benefit of my father when we were in Yellowstone. Even our Saturday grocery shopping trips were fun. When I lived in the dormitory during my freshman year at college, I often came home on weekends to be in on those shopping trips. And how we loved playing table games together." Ethel confides that there were some disadvantages to their situation. She thinks Marilyn went into marriage deficient in homemaking skills. As much as the ladies tried not to cover for Marilyn, they could not keep from doing things for her, and helping her with or taking over her responsibilities, if she were remiss. Marilyn concurs and admits that when she got married, facing her new home responsibilities was "a whole new ball game." But she says that what she learned from her family in caring and cooperation has served her well as she rears her own family. She says she probably had too many bosses at times, but recounts how her mother lovingly handled what could have been difficult situations-like when her grandmother would sit and talk with her when she was supposed to be practicing the piano. "My dear mother is a very godly woman, and I'm sure she and the Lord had many conversations about our household during those years." If the ladies were consulted in an altercation, Ethel's recollections are that they usually sided with Marlin. They encouraged him in escapades like rearranging the furniture while Ethel was away, all the time knowing how she disliked change. Some of her fond memories, she admits, were exasperating at the time. Then Ethel's mother suffered a debilitating stroke. She depended on a walker and set the table one plate at a time. She had to devise different ways to do tasks like scraping carrots, and she spent more time sitting and listening to Christian radio. But she still learned the verse for the week. Aunt Lil grew more forgetful and sometimes dusted and vacuumed three or four times a day. Where these two had been so giving of themselves, they now required more care as the family experienced the winding down period in their lives. But Ethel says their love for the Lord never wavered and continued to be evident in their sweet spirits. Their desire remained to help her and Marlin in the Lord's work. The family cared for Ethel's mother and Aunt Lil in their home until the medical assistance required was more than they could provide. Did the family feel they missed out by having the older adults in their home? Marilyn says that knowing her great– aunt and grandmother so intimately gave her a tolerance and compassion for older people that many of her friends don't understand. She learned appreciation and patience and that love gives no matter how one feels physically. Can three generations make it in the same household? The Raybums did. Ethel believes that they all benefitted by the arrangement- spiritually, in their relationships one to another, in their ministries, in their quality of life, and, certainly, financially. She acknowledges that there were some problems, but the benefits far outweighed them. Ethel knows the Lord gave her late husband much wisdom in managing a household of three generations- and all women at that. She quotes Psalm 63:3 as a testimony of their family: "Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee." Torch 15