Torch, Fall 2006

W ith Martin’s death came the death of a dream for me. The death of a dream isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s sad, but what is important is God’s glory. We must pursue God’s glory over our dreams. Martin and I loved our ministry. We loved the idea that one day there would be one from every tribe and nation standing before the throne of God singing, “Worthy is the Lamb that was slain.” We wanted to be part of seeing that happen. So we headed overseas in the hope that God could use our talents to reach some with the gospel. People ask me what the hardest part was of being a hostage. The hardest part was that I saw what I was really like. When everything is gone and you are in an uncomfortable position, you see what is really in your heart. I was born into a loving family, had lots of friends growing up, believed in Jesus from an early age. I married this terrific guy with an awesome gift of piloting, and we decided that we wanted to make a difference in the world. We went to the Philippines, where Martin flew food and medicine and cargo and people into some of the most primitive places in the world. I was a pretty good person, or thought I was anyway. But in the jungle I came face to face with the Gracia I didn’t want to see, a me that I didn’t want to believe existed. I saw a hateful Gracia. (There were days when I hated those Muslims for what they were doing to us, for what they were putting us through.) I saw a covetous Gracia. I saw a despairing Gracia. (“No one cares about us anymore, we’ve been here so long that everyone’s forgotten us.”) I saw a faithless Gracia. Hebrews 4:12 says God’s Word is a discerner that looks at our hearts and exposes us for what we really are. We may look together on the outside, and we may have props that hold us up and keep life going well for us — whether it’s your career or your family or your house or your car — but God sees our insides. He remembers that we are dust, and He’s on 26 TORCH / Fall 2006 Editor’s Note: Martin and Gracia Burnham were missionaries to the Philippines when they were taken hostage by the Muslim terrorist group Abu Sayyaf in 2001. For more than a year, the Burnhams faced near starvation, constant exhaustion, and frequent gun battles. On June 7, 2002, a firefight between the terrorists and Philippine troops ended their captivity but left Martin dead. In 2006, Gracia shared her experiences in Cedarville University Chapel, and following is an abbreviated transcript of her message. I saw a hateful Gracia. ... I saw a covetous Gracia. I saw a despairing Gracia. ... I saw a faithless Gracia. “ ” Make the Most of the Opportunity