Torch, Fall/Winter 2007

26 TORCH M ost of us are familiar with the adage “love the sinner but hate the sin.” For many of us, it has been the guiding principle of how we treat those in our lives involved in activities that violate Scripture. While this adage is a principle that provides some general guidance in relationships, it doesn’t give practical suggestions. In reality it is much easier to hate the sin of homosexuality than to love the homosexually oriented sinner. Why? Love — the kind of love that Jesus demonstrated and spoke of — is hard work. It is practical, tangible, and sacrificial. It is merciful, humble, and active. It is supernatural and unexplainable. But never is this kind of love more needed than when homosexuality hits home — our own home. Responding with Grace It is painful when there is a person living in sin in our own family. It is hard on parents when children, after being raised in a loving Christian home, reject the Word of God. Hurt, sadness, and disappointment are often the first responses. These emotions are so painful that all too quickly they can be replaced by the secondary response of anger. Family fights can erupt when people are angry. We need to be encouraged to speak the truth as God desires, but to do so in love. The principles of Ephesians 4:29–5:2 are important reminders: • Remove unwholesome words from the conversation. • Build others up according to their needs. • Speak words that benefit the listener. • Get rid of bitterness, destructive speech, and angry actions. • Be kind and compassionate. • Forgive like Christ forgave. • Live a life of love. These are comforting and powerful words. As a defense against bitterness, consider memorizing these verses and let their truths sink deep into your soul. The Scriptures are a strong tower in a time of trouble. When we are weak, Christ is strong. Responding in Community Another common response is to blame ourselves or other members of our family. At a time when we need each other most, negative thoughts and words like these tear us apart. Give condemning thoughts to the Savior, ask Him to relieve us of the burden, then leave it at the foot of the cross. We need to humble ourselves, pray with our families, pray individually, study the Scriptures, and believe God’s Word. Galatians 6:2 tells us to carry each other’s burdens, fulfilling the law of Christ. Isolating ourselves from others is not a healthy or God-honoring response. In addition to family, this is the time we need fellow believers. Being vulnerable and sharing our pain with those we can trust may be incredibly helpful to our own mental and spiritual stability. Responding with Wisdom B e encouraged to maintain a caring relationship with the struggling person in your family despite the individual’s iniquity. We need to seek God’s wisdom, guidance, and direction as we compassionately interact. As promised in James, God will give us wisdom when we ask for it. It is our role, like the Good Samaritan in Luke 10, to demonstrate love to the wounded one in tangible, practical ways. Jesus’ ultimate goal whenever He encountered sinners was to bring them to Himself, to enfold them in His love, and to invite them into a personal relationship with Him. As we love and follow our Savior, His love will be demonstrated to our family member through us. And when the burden seems too hard to bear, the promise of Philippians 4:13 encourages, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Caring for the Homosexual in Your Family Caring for the Homosexual in Your Family by Susan Warner, Ph.D. & Christine Fulmer, M.S.W., Department of Social Work, Criminal Justice & Sociology Through this experience, it was inevitable that the King family would change. They were blasted by the horrors of AIDS. They came face to face with homosexuality and realized it is not the unforgiveable sin. And they learned that the grace of God is boundless; His love, unconditional. Sharyn Kopf enjoys her new role as assistant director of public relations at Cedarville. She has worked previously as a newspaper reporter and spent more than seven years as an award-winning radio writer for Focus on the Family. She has also written numerous articles for various publications, including Boundless Webzine , as well as several drama scripts, two of which were published by Concordia Publishing House. Sharyn graduated from Grace College in Winona Lake, Indiana, with a communications degree. T