Torch, Fall/Winter 2007

But amid the culture war, real people are trapped and struggling, in desperate need of the transforming and healing grace of God in Christ. As agents of God’s redemption of this world, we have an awesome responsibility and an intense privilege. But What About … ? Two questions seem to be at the back of many of our minds when it comes to relating to a friend or family member living a homosexual lifestyle: • If I truly love someone, shouldn’t I confront their sin? • If I befriend a homosexual person, am I implicitly endorsing their sin? Good questions! We don’t want to be like the Corinthian church that accommodated sinful practices. We also don’t want to be like the Pharisees, separating so much that we refuse to have contact with sinners. Such a stance denies that we, too, are sinners and in need of God’s grace. The fact is, it takes wisdom and discernment to honor God not only as Judge of sin, but also as Lover and Redeemer of sinners. Christians are right to feel tension here — wanting to conduct ourselves in ways that make it clear that God hates sin, while also relating to people caught in homosexuality so that redemptive pathways are kept open for the resurrection power of God to transform broken people. Fall–Winter 2007 11 Ministry with Integrity and Love Homosexuality has touched almost every one of us in some way. There are no quick answers that apply to how we should respond in every situation. The following considerations are designed to help us think biblically about relating to struggling relatives and friends with integrity and with the life- giving love of Christ. Confrontation with Commitment First, it may indeed be the loving thing to confront a person about sin, but we must also be sure that our confrontation is matched by an intense and persevering commitment to a sustained friendship. Confrontation without an intense commitment is a failure to genuinely follow Christ’s model for redemption. Interestingly, we are told that one of the most powerful draws of homosexual communities is that they are shelters for those who have been rejected. We need to be very careful that confrontation is not seen as angry denunciation, flippant dismissal, or final rejection. Instead, we need to create and foster church communities that embrace people who are struggling with sin or are confused about their identity. Sadly, with a few bright exceptions, many of our churches have been slow to respond in this way. And let’s not have any illusions — such a redemptive commitment will definitely be tested and will need to persevere through a person’s failure. So, yes, let us most definitely confront sin, but let us do so with the same level of commitment that we will be part of God’s redemptive work in another person’s life. Truth When We’re Misunderstood Second, there is always the risk that if we reach out and love sinners, we will be misunderstood by some as endorsing the sin of sinners. It happened to Jesus, and if we do what Jesus did, it will happen to us, too. If accused, respond with truth spoken with grace and clarity. Share your conviction that homosexual conduct is sin, but that you are committed to your friendships with people who need the grace of God. On the other hand, if friends who are living a homosexual lifestyle think we approve of their behavior, we must also respond with truth spoken with grace and clarity. We do not approve of homosexual conduct; we regard it as sin; but we will never waver from our commitment as a valued friend. There are always risks to speaking truth. A friend may reject us. We must remain committed. They may be genuinely angry, or they may be testing our commitment.