Torch, Spring 1978

Oh, dear, I'd go crazy! Patterns inChristian Womanhood Pat LandersDixon Icouldn't sleep at night! Never, never could Ido that! Typical responses from well meaning women toward my "lot" of being an active evangelist'swife. In their trying tomakeme feel admired, I feel abnor– mal. Why am I not writhing, tossing and turning in my bed? Why don't I have bloodshot eyes-that hallowed-socketed look of one whose love is far away? I'm honestly very happy with my God given "lot"; I have been for thirteen years. Lonely? I don't know what loneliness is when I compare myself with the one whose Son left His heavenly home for over thirty years. Separated? It's bearable when I again realize that God and His Son weres€.R_arated becauseofmy sin and rebellion. "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34). Hiswill for my life is good and perfect andAC– CEPTABLE. It's not a life of enduring but accepting. I think that I have just preached a small, pointed sermon to myself. Let me rethink that last sentenceof the previous paragraph: ... not a life of enduring but accepting. Well, Imust confess there aremoments– not counting days-that Ican't even endure. Now, I ~sua!ly can handle most domestic, familial happen– ings in an average, level-headed manner. The accep– tance stops when that hunk of steel, nuts, and bolts founded on prone-flattened rubber begins to assert itself. Immediately theBell system locates themissing evangelist. I wail, "That car, your car, is not working!" My husband has such a patient, soothing demeanor. After Idispel my stream of consciousness in my anx– ious state, he very calmly tells me what to do; he knows me. An even greater Comforter knows me. Psalm 139 proves this. I most firmly believe that our Sovereign God fashioned and developed my t~mperament so that it would fit perfectly into this life of an eva~gelist's wife. "Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways .. . .Such knowledge is too wonderful for me ... " (Psalm 136:3,6). Looking backward through the steps of my life confirms God's preparation. I have a "wombmate " a twin sister. She was always a home body; her twin was not. I was always a model camper-never ~omes~ck. ~y the second day at camp, shewas sitting in a poison ivy bed and eating a bar of Lifebuoy soap trying to become ill so that she'd be sent home. At the age of fifteen, I spent the summer away from home in a camp ministry for deaf children. Independence was a character trait of mine. The ex– periences and enablement of my being able to be separated from loved ones prepared me for God's purposes in adult life. I claim to be a maturingChristian-not matured, but maturing. If Iclaim this, Ishould act like it. Ihave never doubted God's call for Paul and me in this ex– citing life. Acceptance of the call was easy; praise Him. Complainingabout the call and "lot" has hardly occurred; praise Him, too. "Not that we are suf– ficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves, but our sufficiency is of God" (II Corinthians 3:5). Pat Dixon resides inCedarville, Ohiowith her husband, evangelist Paul Dixon, and their sixteen-year-old son, Scott. In addition to her responsibilities as a homemaker and mother, Mrs. Dixon is an assistant professor of English at Cedarville College. A LIVING INVESTMENT . . Investing in a ~edarville College Gift Annuity assures you of a lifetime income at substantial rates. In ad– d1t1on, every investor becomes a partner in the Christian education of 1200 future leaders. Last year over 200 young people were graduated to serve the Lord in many professions and in local churches around the world. Your annuity-investment will help Cedarville College to continue this significant ministry. Cedarville College Gift Annuities have these important features: 1. Guaranteed income for life. 2. A substantial portion of the income is free from federal tax. 3. A generous charitable gift deduction may be claimed. For more complete information contact the Development Office, Cedarville College, Cedarville, Ohio 45314