Torch, Spring 2005

“To be in the program, they should be planning on getting married within the next 18 months and must recruit a faculty/staff couple to mentor them. This mentoring component provides the student couple with individualized advice as well as a personal model of a strong, growing, Christian marriage.” Mentor couples are required to attend a Fall Semester training session in which they are instructed in premarital counseling skills and interpretation of the pre-marriage inventory test results. They also agree to meet faithfully with their student couple throughout the school year. There are five seminars held throughout the course of the program that are specifically geared toward marriage and marriage preparation. Couples are required to attend the seminars, while mentors are encouraged to participate. The seminars address the following topics: • Biblical Basis and Roles for Marriage • Personalities and Marriage • Communication and Conflict Resolution • Financial Management • Physical Intimacy in Marriage The seminars, which usually last about two hours, are led by knowledgeable professionals — pastors, counselors, and financial advisors. For scheduling flexibility, the seminars are held at two different times — once on a Saturday and again on a weeknight. Many mentors and couples meet soon after each seminar so that their discussions are relevant. As couples go through the program, some face the harsh reality that they are not as compatible as they believed or that they need more time before they are ready to make a life-long commitment. While this may appear to be a negative, it is, in the long run, actually a positive. “Many students (probably about 20 percent) over the years have Spring 2005 / TORCH 5 FTBT is a premarital mentoring program that pairs engaged (or about to be engaged) couples with married couples who mentor them through the joys and trials of marriage — before they walk down the aisle and officially become one. Julie admitted this intense program guided her and Greg through things to which they might otherwise have been oblivious. She said, “It helped us understand how serious a decision to get married is and to look at everyday areas where we would need to adjust to each other.” Necessity is the mother of invention, and that was certainly true with FTBT. After informally mentoring several students, Associate Professor of Bible Dr. Richard Blumenstock realized that many students wanted some form of premarital preparation and that those mentors who were providing it could not handle the load. To address that problem, he formed a committee with six other faculty and staff members to “teach and mentor couples, sharing information and personal experiences.” The program continued to grow, and in 2001 it was turned over to the department of discipleship ministries at the University. Director of Discipleship Ministries Mark Irving now oversees FTBT and coordinates its three major components: pre-marriage inventories, group seminars, and individual meetings with a mentor couple. Each year FTBT kicks off in October and wraps up in April. This year there are 40 couples going through the program. Though not all of the couples are officially engaged, Irving said,