Torch, Spring 2005

going and so will probably wait a few years to join in with FTBT again,” he said. “On the other hand,” he added jokingly, “there hasn’t been a couple asking us. Maybe they’ve heard of our track record!” Irving says student couples are asked to fill out evaluations of the program at the end. “Every year, students generally comment that the mentoring component was the most effective and beneficial element of the program,” he noted. “Engaged couples are often very teachable and have a lot of questions about marriage. They want to talk about relationships and cherish the opportunity to glean wisdom from an experienced married couple.” Last year two psychology students conducted a survey on past FTBT participants to evaluate the long-term effectiveness of FTBT. Michelle Rigel and Jasmine Julian sent out surveys to all who had participated in the program since 1994. The study included a pink survey for the wife and a blue survey for the husband. Each respondent was asked to answer honestly and not show their responses to each other. Out of 488 surveys sent out, 245 were returned. The results broken off their engagements for a variety of good reasons,” Blumenstock stated. Most will agree that ending an engagement is easier than ending a marriage. Steve and Terry Janssen have mentored several couples through FTBT and have been alongside a few as they broke up. Steve, who is an assistant professor of Bible, says watching a couple decide to end their relationship isn’t a pleasant experience, but all the same a worthwhile testimony to the value of premarital counseling. He noted, “We believe that working with couples and helping them get to know one another, face problems that may surface later, and recognize if they may not be right for each other or may need to wait for marriage is all a solemn part of our duty as mentors.” One of the troubled relationships the Janssens were mentoring was deep into the planning stages of the wedding ceremony when doubts surfaced. “We, along with others on campus, continued working with the couple, and they made the decision to call off their wedding. This was especially hard because so much planning and activity had already taken place,” Steve explained. “I have always been thankful for the courage of that couple in doing the right thing in the right way.” That last experience was painful and trying for Steve, and consequently he is taking a sabbatical from mentoring couples. “I have a lot of projects 6 TORCH / Spring 2005 Fit to be Tied Special Needs Mentoring W hen Matt Gatton was assigned to interact with a special needs child for one of his education classes at CU, little did he realize that a voluntary mentoring relationship would be the result. Gatton, a sophomore Spanish and multi-age Spanish education major, was paired with an 11–year-old autistic boy as his assignment for the mandatory “Teaching Children with Exceptionalities” class. The course requires that students spend four to six hours interacting with children with disabilities: three hours in a Sunday school setting and the remainder anywhere else (child’s home, playground, school, etc.). “Future teachers need personal interaction experiences with special needs children,” explained Assistant Professor of Education Shelley Dugle, who developed the course project. “Most of them have no experience interacting with individuals with autism, Down’s syndrome, etc. They almost always have eye-opening moments when they realize that special needs children can still laugh, have fun, and be engaged. This typically puts them at ease with the disability, which is my goal, because I want these future teachers to be comfortable with all kinds of disabilities.” Of course, the Cedarville students aren’t the only ones benefiting from the assignment. “In the church portion of the project,” Dugle noted, “parents appreciate that someone is spending time with their child so that they (the parents) can focus on worship and the Word. Outside of church, parents appreciate that college students show interest in their child’s life by just hanging out and being a friend. And, their help gives the parents a break!” While fulfilling their part of the project, Gatton and his mentoree enjoyed playing pool, board games, card games, foosball, and video games. When the assignment was complete, Gatton discovered that he didn’t want to stop sharing time with his new friend, so the two still meet regularly. Gatton’s decision to continue is not unique; each year a handful of students pursue their mentoring friendships beyond the classroom requirements. “Through the mentoring, I learned that God sends blessings in disguise, when sometimes we don’t even see it,” Gatton explained. “It has been a unique experience for me and has been a positive impact on my life.”