Torch, Summer 1989

"in." Pressures of an uncertain econ– omy, overcrowding, poverty, lack of parental training, poor schooling, and a growing self-centeredness are given as reasons for the demise of manners. Everyone is too busy "looking out for number one" to be considerate of others. One expert contends that discourtesy is similar to a contagious disease, spreading from one generation to the next. In the midst of this malady of our times, I believe Christians should shine forth in contrast, heeding the admoni– tion of Philippians 2:3, " ... do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, especially in the myriad of little, com– mon opportunities that present them– selves to us. Christians should always be on time for appointments, return calls, answer mail promptly, and listen to those who are speaking. These little things add up over time and eventually draw a profile of a believer for all to observe. And the world does observe Christians. Courtesy, a close companion of etiquette and manners, is marked by respect for and consideration of others. Undoubtedly, the most significant laboratory for practicing courtesy is in ({) ...when we love others we are not r11de and self-seelcing . . . we shoiild practice an iinselfish attitude in everything. This attitude is behind all truly courteo11s beliavio1•. but in humility consider others better than yourselves." The opportunities are enormous for Christians to live out their salvation and growth in Christ before one another and before those lost in unbelief: "And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you" (Ephesians 4:32) . Our Lord taught the concept of knowing and doing. His disciples were summoned to responsive action based upon what they heard Hirn say and saw Hirn do. He said, "If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them" (John 13: 17). We are present-day disciples, and we are just as responsible to market the truth in ways understandable to those we brush by daily. Courteous Christianity is attractive and catchy when modeled, the home. Good manners have a lot more to do with husband/wife commu– nication in God-pleasing homes than with the location of knives, forks , and spoons on the dinner table. The Apostle Peter exhorts wives to submit to their husbands, and husbands are admonished to love their wives. He concludes his remarks to believers in I Peter 3:8,9: "Finally, all of you , live in harmony with one another; be sympa– thetic, love as brothers, be compassion– ate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. " Living in harmony is easier for the family which exhibits good manners to one another. The local church and its connected ministries afford additional opportuni– ties for courteous caring. Certainly the pastor is responsible to model an attitude of mannerliness toward his congregation . Paul explained the qualifications for the spiritual leader in I Timothy 3:2, and right in the middle of this text is the provocative reminder that he is to be a man of "good behavior." Later, deacons are enjoined to be cour– teous. The New Testament concept of team ministry is prominent in the Corinthian letters. Christians are to be laborers together. This includes pastors, dea– cons, and congregations. A spirit of mannerliness facilitates the communica– tion of the Gospel to a Jost world. II Corinthians 6:3 states, "Giving no offence in anything, that the ministry be not blamed. " Giving no offense means maintaining a sensitivity toward any action that would be a stumbling block to someone else or a discredit to the ministry. I recall an incident that occu1Ted during a chapel service when I was in Bible college. The guest speaker was well into his message, and , without warning, his hair piece began to slip precariously to one side. He was so totally absorbed in his preaching that he seemed oblivious to what was obvious to all his listeners. Soon, the entire student body was consumed with unre– strained laughter. Since I was near the front , I was able to glance in the direction of our president who was seated near the speaker. His face was unflinchingly expressionless. I couldn 't believe his self-control , his disciplined good manners. The courtesy he dis– played that morning had a tremendous influence on me. That was nearly 40 years ago, and I am still impressed and encouraged by his example. Courtesy. Etiquette. Good manners. Our Lord requires that these qualities grace every believer: "Be kindly affectioned one to another with broth– erly love; in honour preferring one another ..." (Romans 12:10). Dr. David Moore is pastor of Cedar Hill Baptist Church in Cleveland, Ohio.