Torch, Summer 1989

A. Yes, especially in how we treat authority. If using good manners is a way of demonstrating one's respect, then what's happened with manners is illustrated by what's happened at stop lights. Red used to mean stop. Now two or three cars go through the intersection after the full red, forcing cars with the green to wait. Red no longer seems to carry any authority in the minds of many drivers . Literature is reflecting the same form of impertinance toward authority. For example, in the youth market I find no significant publications which advocate respect for parents. Father, the nerd , is put down in favor of younger figures who advocate a different, more attractive lifestyle. Children are portrayed as "with it." A typical children 's book entitled The Bike Lesson depicts Father Bear deciding to teach Small Bear how to ride a bike. But Small Bear rudely takes over as teacher and shows Father Bear how to do it. In the end Father Bear slouches off as Small Bear is riding in circles on the back wheel. The message is that children don 't need instruction from their parents; they have to bring their parents up to speed. What's happened in how we speak -or don ' tspeak-also reflects what has happened to our regard for authority. In the past, when children responded with "Yes, ma'am" and "No, sir," they were ranking themselves. There was elevation in the terms them– selves. "Mother" and "Father" implied respect while "yeah" and "uh uh" and the terms children use to refer to their parents today show a marked departure from good manners. Rudeness extends to attitudes toward symbols of authority. At public gatherings when the National Anthem is played, people no longer sing; they talk, and many don 't even stand up. If there is a soloist, the piece is sung in abnormal rhythm, and if the singer fluffs, it doesn't bother him and no one else cares. This attitude of disrespect also is characteristic of the behavior of fans at the athletic events that follow . On the other hand , on Main Street, America, strangers don ' t speak at all , let alone display manners. The last time I was in Chicago, I could not get the cab driver to say one word to me. Maybe he' d just had a fight with his wife, but I think it's a sign of the times. Anna Ruth Hille Assistant Professor of Education Q. How have changes in our educa– tional system promoted a depar– ture of good manners in children? A. I Corinthians 13 explains that love is not rude, that it "does not behave itself unseemly." Many educators do not recognize God 's Word as authoritative nor practice its love. Their role mod– eling, actions, and attitudes do little to promote good manners in their students. Manners are not taught in any overt way. They are considered old fashioned and out of mode. As I've been in the schools, I have witnessed an appalling lack of discipline. Teachers have very little authority over child– ren . Instead of corporal punish– ment, they must use asserti ve discipline, which is used in varying degrees of effectiveness. Therefore, the result, very often, is little or no restraint on stu– dents. Few teachers recognize the authority of their own superiors. The children perceive thi s, and they, in turn , show little respect for their teachers. Most teachers were in school during or since the 60's when the "me-first" era came in. Many do not look at their teaching position as a ministry , but only as a job. It shows in the demands they make on boards of educa– tion. These thoughts and actions are seen when teachers make selections for the curriculum. Do you think they consider values and good character, including manners and courtesy? I really regret the departure from moral values , from respect for authority , and consideration for others as expressed by good manners. Yet Christian teachers can reclaim lost ground . Who else is better empowered to model the graciousness of Chri st in any classroom? It is part of educating the whole person- a very necessary part.