Torch, Summer 1995

I.Carr have reared five sons, all at least college age. Roy says, "There is no time too early for parents to start teaching discernment. To a young boy, dad is very special. If dad can do it, the son thinks he should be able to do it, too." Besides being a mom to three girls , now all grown and manied, JoAnn Frank is a fourth-grade teacher. She notices, "Bad things are coming through children's lives earlier and earlier." JoAnn and Dwayne started including their children in family devotions from the beginning, because they had devotions together as a couple even before having children. As the girls got old enough to understand the conversation, the Franks began to use children 's story Bibles so the children could participate. JoAnn shares, "By the time the oldest got into junior high, the evenings were just too full. We had '7: 10 in the den ' as our time for morning devotions together. Now our daughters have many more resources available to them-Bible storybooks with modern pictures and questions at the end. " Another principle is that children learn more by example than by what parents say. Don and Peg Rickard have three adult sons, and Don has counseled with many parents and their children in his role as vice president for student services at Cedarville College. "Doing the right things 12 Torch in public is important, but parents teach more by example when sons and daughters view their parents modeling scriptural principles in private, particularly in spontaneous situations. Maybe dad gets too much money back from a store clerk, and instead of pocketing it, he gives the extra back." When asked, Don reveals that his own sons have most often commented about one trait he showed in the home. "In my position at the College and as a deacon at church, I knew a lot of fodder for gossip, but I didn't talk about it, even at home. My sons have told me they appreciated that they could trust me with things they would tell me." Roy agrees, "Children pick up what is good and evil, what is better and best, from example. There were times I said something in an angry state that I would not otherwise have said. My boys were surprised and embanassed, and it was embarrassing for me." Sandi Harner and her husband, Don , have a son and a daughter. Sandi recalls, "When our son was 3 1/2, I was not working. I kept a close eye on his television viewing. When I would tum off something bad, I would say, 'Jesus doesn't like for you to watch this. ' But I was watching soap operas every day. Finally, during one crying, screaming scene in one of my soaps, Scott looked up from playing with his trucks and said, 'Mommy, does Jesus like for you to watch this?' That was the end of my soap opera habit." Teaching discernment is a daily practice. Sandi and Don tried to fulfill the spirit of Deuteronomy 6: 6-7, "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down, and when you get up." As Sandi puts it, "Take every opportunity as it comes to bring everything back to biblical principles ." JoAnn recalls their family vacations to visit relatives in the western states. During the long car rides , the family would memorize passages of Scripture together. But teaching scriptural principles was also a part of the daily and weekly routine. "You give your children choices within the context of family living. We didn't give our children the choice of whether or not to go to church. But when the church had a canvassing campaign, we gave them the choice of working in the nursery or going door-to-door. One chose to work in the nursery,