Torch, Winter 1983

families, and our church family. Because we lived some distance from our parents , my children and I were more or less alone. Our families did everything possible, but they also had responsibilities of their own from which they could not be absent for long . Immediately , our church family rallied around and showered us with love. The women prepared meals , babysat , readied the house for incoming relatives , and made housing arrangements for others who would be coming. The men made sure I knew what had to be done for the funeral and went with me to make the arrangements . They also assisted me with the legal aspects . Because of the manner of my husband ' s death, there were times of being questioned by detectives and reviewing circumstances for them. I was never left to go through these sessions alone , and for this I am eternally grateful. After the initial pressing needs , life settled down again to the daily routines. · The Sunday after the funeral was Mother ' s Day. My children were quite small and I did not expect anything to be done in the usual way of celebrating . But I was mistaken. One of the single girls in the church gave me a gift with a note saying, "Happy Mother ' s Day. " What a thoughtful gesture. To thi s day it is a constant reminder of someone's timely kindness . Being the mother of two boys found me talking sports , whether I knew anything about it or not. The men who took time to interact with my sons on this subject filled a great need in their lives. No one can take the place of their father, but these men can and did provide the masculine image of Godly men. Someone took the time out of a busy schedule to teach my older son how to change the oil in our car. On other occasions people took my children shopping at Christmas and helped them wrap their gifts so that they could be a surprise . Not only did these deeds of kindness provide wonderful fellowship for my children , but they also assisted our family financially. I remember the scene of a church man running up and down the street holding a bicycle so that the children could learn to ride two-wheelers. I am eternally grateful for these kinds of sacrifices on the part of fellow believers. They gave of their time and energy , and I know the Lord has blessed their lives and families for it. Help has also come our way in less obvious ways . Many times people have sensed that I needed encouragement and have just touched my arm , saying that they were praying for me . This has been of monumental importance and has given me strength to carry on when at times it seemed impossible. Probably one of the hardest things was getting proper outlets for the entire family . By this I mean situations wherein our whole family would do something with another family. This was difficult because, although we were a family unit, we were minus one member and this made a lopsided situation. Yet it was not impossible; it was just more difficult and required more effort to accomplish. I Peter 4: 9, 10 states: Use hospitality one to another without grudging . As every man hath received the gift , even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Also , the Scripture explains that for us to have friends , we must show ourselves friendly (Proverbs 18:24). And , we are commanded not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Hebrews I0:25). As I followed these principles , I believe I automatically opened my family to the comfort of God , and to our fellow believers. Trials always seem to prompt why questions: "Lord , why did it have to be my husband who was taken?" "Why does my family have to suffer?" It ' s normal to wonder why. Perhaps one reason why my gracious Lord allowed me to go through the loss of my husband was so that I could experience His love in a special way . Also, He seems to have chosen my family to be the motivation for numerous kindnesses that have glorified His name . Sometimes it takes a special situation to bring forth the faithful Samaritan spirit of His people . Hindsight is always the best sight , and now I can see a pattern of Godly response on the part of my pastor , the deacons , and the congregation of the church. My pastor was a faithful shepherd who fulfilled I Peter 5:2a: Feed the flock ofGod which is among you, taking the oversight thereof .. .. He was sensitive to the needs of me , a church widow , and my fatherle ss children, and he fed us with hi s knowledge of the Word . The deacons' role was a little different. Acts chapter six states that they were selected to be more specific in their help to widows . This does not mean that they were to do everything for me, but they certainly did check on whether we had specific needs . The widow or her children shouldn ' t be put in the position of having to ask for help . This is embarrassing . However , because I knew someone was interested and had expressed a desire to serve in the past , this gave me the courage to ask when help was needed . Lastly , the caring role of the people of my church probably had the greatest impact of all. To be honest , becoming a widow and being one has been a stormy sea. But , the Captain of my life has been my ever present help. All Thy waves and Thy billows are gone over me. Yet the Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime , and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life (Psalm 42 :7,8). Perhaps the verses that best summarize my trial and my victory through it are II Corinthians 12:9 , l 0: And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee;for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power ofChrist may rest upon me . Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions , in distresses for Christ' s sake :for when I am weak, then am I strong .