1919 Cedrus Yearbook

19 A MID-WINTER NIGHTMARE 19 Last night as I lay sleeping, I had a dream so queer, It made me glad semester-ends come only twice a year. I entered the college door, and went to the waiting room, And there sat several of the girls filled with despair and gloom; They said they'd been studying all night—and I don't doubt it a minute, For compared with them, so pale and wan, a graveyard ghost wasn't in it. I dropped exhausted into a chair—no farther could I go; Then I listened to the questionings of voices sad and low. "Oh,I know we'll have a test in Psych., I feel it in my bones; Arid if we do, I know I'll flunk"—then followed a chorus of groans. "Have you your Apologetics?" "Think we'll have a test in that?" "You never can tell, but let's hope not—I don't know as much as a cat!" "Ever have tests in Oratory? And if so, upon what part?" "Well the class had one last year to repeat the entire book by heart." Then a silence deep and solemn fell upon that group sedate— Some were sighing, some were crying, all were thinking of their fate. "Oh, girls! Do you know your History of Ed.?" "Is your notebook up to date?" "Have you studied up on Rhetoric?"—'Chemistry?"—'Debate?" "Are you looking for a test in French—in this, that, or the other?" A pause—then a tearful voice sobbed out,"I'm going back home to mother!" "Well,I—" But here a clang into the buzzing contusion broke, And despairingly we started for classes--no one even spoke. There stood Prof. Jurkat, eating an apple, within his class-room door, So intent upon ringing the bell on time that he even swallowed the core. We slowly and sadly crept up the stairs to the second-story hall, And then we scattered here and there to our class-rooms, one and all. Some of us started for Economics—'twas the hour for it to recite, But the sight that greeted us at the door made us almost faint wih fright. That board was covered with questions (oh, how we wanted to run!), And there stood Prof. Allen handing out whole tablets to every one! "Now, don't be alarmed," he smilingly said, as he twirled his watch-chain around. "If you've mastered each lesson day by day, for fear there is no ground; This test is not a hard one—eight hours I think should be Sufficient to answer every question that on the board you see." At last I ventured a timid glance ' then my heart began to hop, My eyes swam about in lakes of tears and my brain reeled round like a top. "Write an outlineof the entire book—each chapter and sub-division." "Do you think more silver or gold should be used? Give reasons for your decision." "If prices rise in Europe, does the rise effect everything?" "And please explain by natural laws how a price can 'fall' in the spring." "Draw a complete and accurate map of the world and locate all trade centers." "Who profits more by prosperity—the landlords or the renters?" "When is legal tender, and when is it harsh and severe?" "Tell how to counterfeit a dollar—diagram to make it clear." "Name the greatest financier in the business world today; Draw his picture, tell his history; is his hair red, black, or gray?" "What is a clearing-house, and is it built of brick or wood?" "Draw a picture of the very first bank, and tell just where it stood." "Name all—" Then came a noise like the sound of a great earthquake! 'Twas the alarm-clock bell and for once in my life I can say I was glad to awake. Then as my thoughts became clearer and I stroked my fevered brow, "How glad I am," said I to myself,"that I'm a Senior now! Test worries will soon be over and smiles will replace our tears; But something should be done to help the students of future years! Slavery now has vanished from our good old U. S. A.; Booze has followed in its step—both have had their day; All things vetoed by the majority must follow along with the rest, So may the next Amendment abolish the College Test!" 54