The Cedarville Review 2020

20 | THE CEDARVILLE REVIEW Take my tears once more standing up, Forehead fallen forward against bedframe, Grieving leaning. Take my empty stomach And my microwaved pizza and my unbelieving Nausea for hours afterward, take my fuzzy-minded suddenly-settling Peace as I showered, take my longing to be held for an hour And take my all aloneness. These are Yours, You claim them, I pay tribute. You unflinching Plunge me into torpor, anesthetize me for torture, Rest me and ready me for more. This is no fellowship offering, I am whole, you lay your hand on my head but don’t touch my throat, I live. O, how inscrutable Your gaze, how heavy Your affection! I bend like a reed under the lightest yoke I know, tearstained, Unbruised. Without your kind eyes, my God, I would think you To smite willingly, unconcerned observe the effects of the curse. No, you are lovely, and inhabit feeble praise. I curl up in the pew, And my fitful dreams serveAs worship, Prepared beforehand for me To give you as I (Grateful) sob.