The Idea of an Essay, Volume 4

54 The Idea of an Essay: Volume 4 with Timmy’s family, and I pray that you’re with him through this time. I pray that you draw him closer to you through this time and help him to know that you’re with him and working in his life. I pray that you are with him and his family as they drive down to Florida, that they have a safe drive and that they stay focused on you. I know Timmy has a lot of homework, so help him to get that done when he is able. Help him to mourn when it’s time to mourn and focus when it’s time to focus. Please use this trip to bring peace into his heart and into the hearts of his family. May your will be carried out on this trip, in his life, and in his family’s life. In Jesus name, amen.” I looked up, wiped the tears from my eyes, and hugged him. Before I left he showed me a picture of his grandma holding him when he was a baby. He told me that she passed away his freshman year of college here and it was four weeks into the semester when that happened. He told me he knew how I felt, and that comforted me. He also told me to take these three days as rest. He knew I had homework, but said, “Be with your family the three days you’re there and do your homework on the traveling days.” After I left his room, I said bye to him. Kenton, my mentor, prayed with me and told me if I ever needed someone to talk to he would be there for me. I talked with a few more people before I left and they were all praying for me. This time around I didn’t feel alone. We traveled for a day and a half. Thursday evening was the visitation. I got a text from a few of my friends that day saying they were praying for me. I saw a lot of family I didn’t know I had and family I rarely get to see. The visitation was challenging, but having family there made it easier. The next day was the ceremony. It was very tough, and I cried a lot through it, but a feeling of peace began to grow in my heart. On the way back home, I got a text from Adam, one of the guys in my unit, who said he was praying for me. At this moment, I prayed to God. I was going through so much, but I finally had peace. I was not alone, but God was with me. I came back to Cedarville refreshed and at peace. Two days later, I got a text from my sister saying Belle had died. Belle was my dog who my family has had for twelve years. That hurt so much. I went for a jog around the lake. After my jog, I sat by the lake and started crying. The next night I was sitting in bed at midnight when I had a panic attack. I hit rock bottom. I felt alone and afraid sitting in my bed. I jumped out of bed praying for a way out. Then I saw