Torch, Fall 1992

are not resolved. Many marriages, friendships, and business relationships are damaged or destroyed when people focus exclusively on a point of disagreement and forget about all that they have enjoyed in and with one another. Remembering the good may provide the motivation it takes to work through the painful differences that temporarily separate people. Second, the process of thinking right can be contagious. The more negatively you view opponents, the more inclined they will be to view you the same way. Conversely, as you focus on what is good about another person and openly acknowledge those qualities, he or she may begin to do the same in return. As you gain a more accurate assessment of each other and as good will grows between you, you will both have a greater freedom to deal honestly and 8 Torch realistically with your differences.... 5. Pradice what you've learned. Paul's final instruction to Euodia and Syntyche (and to us) is both straightforward and encouraging: "Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Paul knew what he was talking about when it came to conflict. He had to deal with intense conflict and opposition during his stay with the Christians in Philippi (see Acts 16:16-40), so they had seen him in action. He had taught and demonstrated how to deal with disputes, but he understood our human tendency to be hearers rather than doers of the Word. Therefore, he exhorted Euodia, Syntyche, and the rest of the Philippian church to put their knowledge into practice. Otherwise, all their learning was in vain. Paul's instruction will apply equally well in your life. When you find yourself estranged from another person, especially when that person professes to be a follower of Jesus, it is not good enough simply to study the Bible-knowledge isn' t really knowledge (in a biblical sense) unless you put it into practice. When you use God 's principles to check your attitude and make some changes, you will discover how much easier it becomes to overlook minor offenses. Even when further dialogue or action is necessary, it can be surprisingly productive when you practice the peacemaking principles contained in God's Word. Regardless of what else happens, as long as you are faithful to your Master, you can know the truth of Paul's promise: "The God of peace will be with you." Excerpted from pages 64-70 of The Peacemaker by Ken Sande, published by Baker Books. Used by pemtission. 'Wayne Mack, A Homework Manual for Biblical Counseling , vol. 1 (Phillipsburg: Presbyterian and Reformed Pub., 1979), p.12.